The real show: Return of the Dorks. Thousands of 35-year-old men...waiting days, even months for just a taste of George Lucas' table scraps. Lonely men, who have never had sex, not even with a Catholic priest.

I've found an actual girl here...Not too shabby, the male-female ratio. You've got your veritable pick of the litter. You can choose from all kinds of guys who have no idea how to please you.