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Journal cyranoVR's Journal: MrsVR guest editorial - The Case Against Helping Technolust 23

Journal by cyranoVR

Approximately two years ago, Technolust foed both me and my husband for expressing our extreme disapproval for his relationship with a 15 year old girl. Since that time, I have periodically checked in on his journal. Much to my surprise, I recently discovered that he lost his old despised employment and is in dire financial straits as he searches for new employment.

My astonishment stems from the fact that he seems reliant on the Slashdot community to find him a new job. His original offer came from fortknox's company. Since he unwisely bruited that offer around his old job, his employment there was terminated, and the new offer has not materialized in a timely fashion.

Most of us develop professional networks of connections through former colleagues. When we do good work for others, they respect us and remember us when opportunities come up that fit our skillsets. Technolust seems to be severely lacking in this department. In fact, his personal judgement seems flawed to the extent that he has alienated prior employers.

It is very easy to craft an online persona that conceals our deficiencies. Even with this advantage, Technolust betrays hints that evince his poor judgement. Over and over he allows others into his home and life and is taken advantage of. Nothing is ever his fault, yet when time and again things go dismally wrong for him, he is the only common denominator.

I am surprised that Slashdotters are so willing to overlook these obvious deficiencies and stake their own reputations to help Technolust secure employment when his real life attributes only seem to bring him grief. We are hearing only his side of his hard luck story; how, without third-party corroboration, can any of us know whether he is indeed an exemplary employee who has been unfortunate in his bosses? When we recommend a new hire, we are placing our own reputations on the line along with the person recommended. This is not something to take lightly. I understand the desire to help someone in need, but it is always wise to remember that online friends are just that; not real life friends. Without the depth of extensive personal interaction and trust building, we cannot ever claim to truly know the other person. I commend Slashdotters in their generosity to help an unfortunate, I also caution them to proceed carefully as they may be getting more than they bargained for.

This discussion was created by cyranoVR (518628) for Friends and Friends of Friends only, but now has been archived. No new comments can be posted.

MrsVR guest editorial - The Case Against Helping Technolust More

MrsVR guest editorial - The Case Against Helping Technolust

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  • Does this mean that you two aren't gonna help *me* find a job in the big city?

    And I thought there was a MrsVR account.

  • As someone who also writes a lot of deeply personal stuff in her blog, I have to say the most difficult thing about showing your personal life on the Internet is the fact that you allow everyone to critique it; not just your friends, but whoever happens to read it.

    I feel that it is worth it to blog personal items that are noteworthy, and to let the public read those blog entries. But the criticism can be hard to bear sometimes. I stick up for TechnoLust because I blog in the same way he does, and I've seen

    • Amen.

      Sorry Mr. and Mrs. CyranoVR, I'm with the Chick on this one.

    • It is physically impossible to blog everything that happens in one's life, especially when one has a job that takes up a lot of time. Short of having a direct feed from one's brain directly to a blog (let me know when that gets developed) we all censor our blog entries, wittingly or unwittingly. What may be significant to an observer can be something we deem insignificant and unworthy of writing about. Thus, we cannot have the same experience of knowing someone in real life as on a blog.

      All I am saying is t
      • "For me to confidently recommend a person, I need to have worked with that person in either a work or volunteer context and have been impressed by that person's ethics, demeanor and ability. I certainly would never recommend someone under any other circumstances."

        That's a difference between you and me, then. Clients ask me if I know anyone who is a system administrator, Java programmer, etc. If I know someone who is who might be looking for additional work, I'll connect them with my client. In this way I am
    • So, what you're saying is that we should reward narcissism?
      • My personal approach is to live and let live. By that very principle, if you want to judge someone narcissistic (or not), go right ahead.

        The cool thing is - he says what he wants, and so do you. He talks about himself, and you talk about him, and now we're all talking about you. It all works itself out, don't you think?

        Pix

    • I had gotten ready to cut-n-paste this:

      Over and over he allows others into his home and life and is taken advantage of

      when I say that you had already done so. Been there, done that, barely kept my shirt, etc ... but I'd like to think it made me a better person for it, or at least I've learned something.

      I'm not saying that MrsVR doesn't make good points - she does. And its important to encourage her to continue to express her opinions, because she does make a lot of spot-on points.

      However, an importan

  • I must admit, I didn't approve much of TL's relationship with a 15 year old, and I believe I said as much on his journal -- probably something to the effect of "this will all end in tears."

    On the other hand, I don't quite buy the argument that you are the only common denominator in your mistakes, because that seems to me to argue from a false dichotomy, or an excluded middle fallacy. While there are certainly no shortage of personal failings that cause problems (I'm coping with a few of mine right this m
  • I came home this evening to find several IM windows from fellow slashdotters remarking on this journal and providing a link. I read it, and I wasn't even going to comment (despite you giving wrong information about several items, including the age of my ex-girlfriend) until I came to the part about me being in "dire financial straights." At what point in any of my JEs have I said I was in dire financial straights? I'm cutting back on my spending, no doubt, as would anyone in my position. However, I've s
    • If you're really interested in putting yourself out there "in all your flaws" as SlashChick put it, then you'll open up your journal to take criticism of those flaws. Until then, you're now foe'd. Buh-bye.
    • At what point in any of my JEs have I said I was in dire financial straights?

      The part where you said you had a digi-cam stolen that you couldn't even afford. That part. "TL is in dire straights!" was the EXACT conclusion I came up with. If two very different parties are coming to the same conclusion the ball is back in your court. Perhaps you are saying things and intimating things you don't mean to; perhaps there is a running subtext to your JEs that you aren't aware of.

      Thats a point Mrs. VR was gett
      • I am a native New Yorker. Third generation, in fact. What that means is that I am naturally cautious. People here are always looking for a handout. I go to alumni meets and get asked for donations by the school and for jobs by recent graduates. I actually recommended a former captain of the fencing team for a healthcare position that she quit after three days. It taught me that even when I think someone is a good fit for a job, they may have hidden recesses of flakiness that I am unaware of. At the very lea
      • In MrsVR's response to your comment, she wrote:

        CyranoVR actually asked me to post this editorial because he knows I am incisive and a good writer.

        That's only part of it. That, and the last few months of hearing "ZOMG! You won't believe what Technolust did now!" played a big factor in my fateful request "why don't you write a guest entry about it?" Cause as mad as everybody is about this entry, I'm the one that has to hear it in person on a semi-weekly basis.

        Ah, Blogs...the Reality TV of the Internet!

        Any

    • There you go again, TL, with the defenses. Whenever aspersions get cast in your direction, you *always* have an argument -- they have their facts wrong, they misinterpreted your meaning, you tried that already, those folks were just out to get you... whatever it is, it's NEVER your fault, and you're NEVER part of the problem.

      Well, I've known you for a few years now (how many? at least 3, I guess). You're the first person from Slashdot I met in person. AND we've talked on the phone. Are you the same guy on

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