It baffles me why you would wait until divorce to take an interest in your kids' lives. Are they just a point to score over your ex-wife and useless until then? Do you expect your wife to tell them you're an utter bastard the second you're divorced but sing your praises beforehand?
Who said anything about waiting until divorce to take interest in kids' lives? Who said anything about degrading spouse?
Sometimes, life does not give you a choice in the matter in being separated from your kids.