Forgot your password?
Close
typodupeerror
User Journal

Journal bluefairee's Journal: **No Title** 11

Journal by bluefairee
the holiday rush will be over in 3 weeks. yay! my body doesn't handle it and life stress as well as it used to.

i know a few have wondered if i was getting help for my bouts with depression. i wasn't but i am now. i've already been to one visit and i've got another tomarrow. i excited to finally be at this point in my life. i am also bracing myself. the things i'll have to discuss and remember are things i've worked really hard to ignore and bury. the doc put me on some meds to help with the lows. depression i can handle. suicide is not part of what i'm willing to take on again.

so, blue is not having a baby or buying a house. i didn't go to the funeral and my mom's 48th b-day is today and i'm not going to call or send a card. she called me a few days back at work. she says she's not doing well and she just wanted to hear my voice. she was surprised i hadn't called her to see how she was doing. all i said was "sorry". as in sorry she thought i'd call. that was all she wanted and then she hung up. my mom needs friends that care and can hold her accountable. instead she comes to me. she made it very clear that not only are we not friends, but we will never be friends. she is my mother and that is all there is to it. i don't think she realizes she is still putting me in a guardian role. trying to anyways.

in any case it's been a fairly good day. i slept in and am enjoying some awsome weather. i also discovered a passion i didn't know i had. writting. i realized today, i don't care if anyone else thinks i have talent. i love doing it. at my best i journal and at my worst i journal and in all the the in between times i journal. i always have it with me. it occured to me today, that creative writing has nothing to do with grammer, puctuation, or spelnlig. at least not for me. it's all about the fun of creating something wher there was nothing. righteous dude!

so from here on out all who choose to read my journal will be subjected to my creative musings. in true /. form feel free to give feedback. just remember, this fairee does not use bricks like our beloved dragon. she does, however, have hordes of magical books. whether casting a spell or cramming one up an intruders nose, the results are the same. they are unpleasant.

* beware*, this fairee in now officially in professional therapy and her moods may swing violently.

This discussion has been archived. No new comments can be posted.

? More

?

Comments Filter:
  • i'm glad; you're worth it, you deserve to feel better. Dragons use spells. Dragons use spells on a regular basis; we just don't use them when a rock or a stick or a brick would get the point across just as cleanly...

    *grin*

    sol

  • Sometimes, the hardest thing to do is admit that you need help. Once you do that, it opens the way to let everything else happen. Having been through some moderate bouts of depression myself, I know how hard it can be sometimes...
    • that is so true. i feel weak and stupid for not being able to do it by myself. logically i know it's not true, but those feelings had kept me from making the first step.

      • i feel weak and stupid for not being able to do it by myself. logically i know it's not true, but those feelings had kept me from making the first step.

        Unfortunately, society tends to lead us to believe that asking for help is a sign of weakness, and that acknowledging you have a weakness is not good. However, it takes a lot of courage and strength to be able to stand up and say "I need help." And having made that confession, you are on your way to doing something about your weaknesses and becoming a stro
        • thanks arb. i will try to remember that. have a good weekend :) i'm off to visit friends and a mini get away. i'm excited and i think it'll do me lots of good. thanks again!

  • reach (Score:1)

    by chewy ( 38468 )
    it's good that you have reached the realisation that help is needed, and therapy will assist your growth. your words reach out and i hear them. there will always be things that hurt and decay, but likewise there will also be bliss and prosperity.
    • thank you for listening. it makes all the difference in the world. my goal is to stay focused on the bliss and prosperity. that's where all the fun is! :)
  • your passion for writing is obvious. this is the third message in a row that i had from you.

  • Hats off to you, girl!!

    One december vacation (vacations are allways the worst, for some reason) I decided I had only 2 options to deal with that shit: My huge amounts of relativism & my sense of humour. I started seeing how rediculous situations and people (myself included) were and I became an addicted fan of the great 'Irony of life' play, and I did no longer mind coming on stage myself every once in a while, too (iykwim).

    The moment you accept who you are and how you can deal with stuff, you've wo

Slashdot Top Deals

Math is like love -- a simple idea but it can get complicated. -- R. Drabek

Close