Damn, you're right.
Those poor fucking European bastards with their continent-wide passenger rail system,
...which I'd prefer over hopping onto a plane and getting there 3x faster ...uhhh because?
working public transportation,
You know, I always marvel at the level of brainwashing it took to convice leftists to hate cars: a transport system that operates on my schedule, on my route, with no walking to stop involved, no waiting in wind or rain at said stop, which doesn't leave without me if I'm late, with no transfers needed, where I control the AC setting, the music, which doesn't put screens in front of my face with the same 3 ads on a loop during my hour-long journey, in which I can ALWAYS comfortably sit not just during off-hours, need I go on?
free national health care,
"Oh, you need that suspicious lump looked at? Of course, as an EU citizen you are entitled to free healthcare, we can schedule an appointment as soon as 2047!" I mean fuck me, you think noone ever knows how that "free healthcare" looks *in practice* and you can blatantly fucking lie about how "awesome" it is and noone will call you out?
vanishingly low rates of gun crime,
LOL, wake up Sparky, it's 2026, uncontrolled immigration made those "safe streets" you speak of very much a thing of the past. OK, you are more likely to die from being stabbed (or run over with a truck, the new fashionable thing you have going on there) than from being shot, makes a huuuuge difference.
Yes, I enjoy financing welfare queens who abuse the system. Except no, not really.
LOOOOOOOOL. Tell me, did you have the chance to vote for (or against) Ursula von der Leyen the way US citizens did get to vote for or agaisnt Trump? No you didn't. Same as you never get to elect the European Comission, nor the CJEU, who actually rule Europe. You only ever voted for EU parliment, which is famously the most powerless elected body in the world, so much it's a meme. Fucking democracy indeed :DDDD
No such thing as a "carbon debt" except as a leftist talking point :DDDDD or do you believe in fairies too?
Yes, I'm sure people of for example Ceuta are very happy about your joke of a continent's inability to keep the borders, you know, closed.
and beautiful walkable cities!
You mean "car-hostile"? I don't mind walkable, but a more appropriate word would be "walking-enforced", so no thanks.
What the hell are they thinking?
And oh yeah, they have to put up with that goddamn Eiffel tower, the Alps, Stonehenge, fucking Tulips, Pompeii, the best museums on the planet and OH MY GOD, Scotland!!!1!
Oh, noone disputes it makes a great vacation target. Go there, visit aboementioned things, enjoy the theme park atmosphere, observe primitive europeans living there in their natural habitat, make some photos to post on some (US-made obviously) social media site, then, return to civilization once that stops being fun and starts being tiresome. :DDDDDDD