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Journal bethanie's Journal: Once Again, Mommies are Best 10

Journal by bethanie
Interesting book reviewed in the NYTimes today (free reg, or use ID: bethaniejournal, password: happystick), called Home-Alone America: The Hidden Toll of Day Care, Behavioral Drugs, and Other Parent Substitutes.

In case my position isn't perfectly clear by now, I am strongly in favor of moms staying at home to raise their own kids rather than turning them over to day-care providers or some other institutional setting. At the very least, have a family member who actually *loves* the child take care of them -- someone with genetic involvement. It just makes a difference.

Oh, and uh, yeah, so do dads. Having kids when you're not married and/or in a relationship that's fundamentally the same thing is NOT AS GOOD for the kids. Dads are extremely important in the equation, so I don't want it to seem like I'm discounting their contribution.

Mrs. Eberstadt's book attempts to link these problems to absent parents. Obesity, she writes, is in large part the product of a lack of supervision when children return every afternoon to empty homes or are mollified by sugary snacks in day care or at after-school programs. So many children are medicated, she says, because parents spend less time with them, and therefore do not know how children really behave. And while they are unsupervised, teenagers, not surprisingly, are sometimes having sex.

Not sure about the obesity claim. I think there are lots of reasons kids are getting fat. Lack of supervision may be part of it, but just a generally crappy diet and lack of activity are prevailing.

What I find most interesting is the idea that kids are being put on medications because parents aren't used to how kids act. This could be *very* relevant, I think. When you're not hanging out with your kids, hanging out with OTHER kids, you just aren't dialed in to what qualifies as "normal." It covers a wide range, let me tell you. Even as babies, kids can be the kind you lay on the floor who play happily for 30 minutes or more at a stretch, or they can be the kind of kid that needs to be held ALL the time (literally). I've been around all kinds, parented in very similar ways, but if you didn't know this, you'd swear that there was just something wrong with some of 'em.

As for the sex thing... Well, uh, yeah. Teenagers are sneaky little critters. Horny, too. If they find an opportunity, they'll use it. Speaking from personal experience on this one. And I DID have a stay-at-home parent throughout my teen years. With VERY close supervision. Couldn't hold ME back, tell you that much!

Anyway, an interesting diversion from other issues of the day. If I ever actually read the book (doubtful), maybe I'll post my own review.

Ugh. Time to go to bed. I took a swig of Benadryl to quell the itching of my Halloween mosquito bites, and it's kicking my ass. What a fucking lightweight.

Oh, last thing. TL, heard a song on the radio today and it just brought you to mind. This one's dedicated to you, buddy!! :-)

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Once Again, Mommies are Best More

Once Again, Mommies are Best

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  • I've been meaning to post this song [cheveril.com.au] by an Aussie (okay, they were from New Zealand , but they had all their success here) band called Dragon for a while... I think of TL every time I hear it. ;-)
  • Reminds me of the time that my mother caught my brother and his girlfriend in the bushes outside the public library, where they had gone to "study". He still hasn't lived it down, and it was 25 years ago.

    Tried to ignore the election and go to bed, but I can't sleep. :-(
    • My Dad caught me and "Tramp-eileen" once because we didn't hear him come home, so I wired the garage door opener to a small light in my closet. Sucked that in the next three years I lived there, I never needed it once.

      Or maybe that didn't suck. I watched plenty. ;)

  • In case my position isn't perfectly clear by now, I am strongly in favor of moms staying at home to raise their own kids rather than turning them over to day-care providers or some other institutional setting.

    I'm all for this too- but the thing that gets me is that most Americans who claim to want this, aren't willing to give up the corporate profits it will take to make EVERY job a living wage job, or alternatively to tax those profits to make sure that every American family is a single-income household
    • OK, how about this -- the scope of government is reduced drastically to where it should be, i.e., simply ensuring life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness (Here's a great JE [slashdot.org] on the subject). That way, Americans can KEEP the money they earn and be able to afford to live on one income.

      Fewer taxes/less government = more for Americans to keep in their pockets/spend/invest.

      ....Bethanie....
      • It's a neat idea, but it will not work. Here's why. In every evolutionary system, parasites are ALWAYS the second species to evolve. While I agree that less government and less taxes is half the story- the other half of the story is corporate profits that are WAY out of porportion to costs. Without regulation, the parasites will win. And that means less money for Americans to keep in their pockets/spend/invest, because they'll be earning less. Just look at any third world nation- that's who we're comp
  • All I can say is that I hope that someday I will find a woman like you.
    • First of all, there IS no "offtopic" in journals, mmmkay?

      Second of all, I'm going to guess you meant that as a compliment, so I'll just say "Thanks." :-)

      (We're out there -- in greater numbers than you would ever imagine. Just don't expect to find many 'round here.)

      ....Bethanie....

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