I'm such an idiot. I was fine and chipper on Wednesday. Things were good my head was in that win/win space and I thought that everything was good in the universe. Then Thursday, with the high level of stress this week from: breaking up, moving, getting the new place clean for a housewarming my friend is having for me Saturday, contract deadlines at work & making and shipping promo shirts for my side biz. Ya, I'm a bit frazzled. I've messed up my new apartment number a dozen times, transposing numbers. Asking the apartment office lady why my mail key doesn't work...evidently I tried it on the wrong number, mine was 3 down. And when I was switching the electric, I messed up the street number, luckily it turned up an error in their system and I got it fixed to the correct one.
So ya, Thursday I was supposed to meet up to change the name on the lease for the old apartment, but he was stuck at work and had to postpone. So like the little misguided caretaker that I am, I made up the excuse that I was heading over there anyways to pick up a package so I'd take out th edog to pee. Yes I had a package there (it could have waited another day easily) and yes he was appreciative as he ended up eating dinner at work to finish up the project by the deadline.
But fuck, why do I have to be so overly helpful and do things that others should be doing themselves. He choose not to have me as a partner right now, so he shouldn't have the benefit of me there to watch his back and help out.
So ya, I got all emotional as I walked into the apartment to get the dog and put the mail on the table. Thursday was the first time I had cried since Sunday. I thought I was doing pretty well. I guess the emotional roller coaster is to be expected in this case.
I just wish that this limbo was over. Because I feel like I'm not really in a relationship, but I'm not really out of one either. Blah.