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Journal bellus quies's Journal: Rantings of a...well..tired one 10

Journal by bellus quies

I'm tired.

I nap, way too much lately. Being out in the field these last 3 months has taken it's toll on me. Yes, there are proactive things that I could've done to prevent all this (me thinks) but whatever. First of all, (also noted in a previous JE that I could convieniently link to now, but am not going to go through that much trouble) I haven't been feeling well lately. Being in the field has, in my opinion, compounded that. Add together the mucky irregular schedule, having to eat out all the time, siting around in the sun, dehydration, lack of clean bathrooms in the near proximity (I once drove around for 30 minutes in search of open restrooms, thank god for Starbucks, McD's charges you) but my intestines are in knots, painful and annoying. this leaves me cranky. very cranky. I've been loosing weight, but only because eating is painful, and I've begun to dislike bodily funcions :( nothing like a self inflicted constriction in my gut that some go through surgery to obtain. Whatever. I can't wait for the return of my cubicle, and it's full water bottle, and morning oatmeal, and air consitioning and people to chat with and all the good and bad that it entails. Maybe field wok would be nice, the autonomy, the laid back atmosphere, but ot be in constant worry/pain/discomfort, nope not for me.

Other stuff...I've been tryig out the whole online dating thing and well, I've gotten a few numbers but am bashful in calling. In particular there is this one guy who is persistant in wanting me to call, but that pushing has made me not really want to talk to him. I've mentioned that I'm kinda new to this and shy. But if he had come across with, take your time, don't rush things, I'd probably be on the phone now. But, well, maybe it's my tendency to when pushed to push back, stubbornness at it's best. Again, whatever. I'm suprised hte combinations of replies that I've gotten, from people whom I would never think to approach on the street (what I would think is out of my league) to crusty old guys (what does, I'm looking for 20-somethings mean to a 47 year ole ?? I guess he thinks if he has a plane it doesn't matter). I get so bugged by guys who think that it's their car or flashy this or that that matter at all. It's a turn off when you tell me what you drive. I don't care! Things are just hunks of matter that don't define who you are. It means more that you like to drive along the beach than you drive a beamer. Whatever, again.

Other...stuff...I've been rearranging furniture. MY dad built me a cool workbench out of an old bunk bed so that I have a place to do stained glass. So I've been making room for it and getting the flow of my apartment to work out. There are some things that I've had to get rid of and others that have taken on a new incarnation, but overall I'm happy with the semi-outcome. I just need a few more bookshelves and storage baskets and Ill be done. I really like bookshelves for storage because you can see what's there.

I feel bad for ditching karate practice tonight, but I really want to curl up in a ball and become comatose for a while. To sleep I go.

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Rantings of a...well..tired one More

Rantings of a...well..tired one

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  • I have tried it a little bit. I'm in no rush so I take it really slow.

    Let's see, my experiences so far. I contacted three ladies and eventually got together with them. I found a chick who is so proud of her BMW (with really big legs, and smells bad), I found the female Arnold Swartzenegger, I found a female who is more boring than watching paint dry. So needless to say, a big freaking waste of my time.

    The whole online thing really sucks. In real life I can tell in 5 minutes if I like someone, online you w
  • I love hitting on chick on general, but online dating is so fun - I like sending lotsa messages to girls and then receive the replies. Although I admit, it never really ended in romance.

    What are you working at now? Selling your art? And you know, you can make some food at home and eat it outside. I don't like depending on fast food stores.
    (McD charges money for the toilets? That never happened here.. I think that even in Italy they don't charge money)
    • Me, I'm still in the field for another 11 working days untill I rotate back into the office. Thank god !!! Though I'm not sure of the office, don't know what will happen, it's been, what 1.5 years since I was there. 'm sure a lot has changed. Anyway I'll get used to it.

      As for my art...not seling it quite yet. I'm still getting the bits and pieces together. It's taking longer than I supposed. But better to take my time than burn out quick.

      Later.
  • but my intestines are in knots, painful and annoying. this leaves me cranky. very cranky. I've been loosing weight, but only because eating is painful, and I've begun to dislike bodily funcions :( nothing like a self inflicted constriction in my gut that some go through surgery to obtain.

    Sounds like it might be Crohn's disease to me. Have you had it looked at?

    • Sounds like it might be Crohn's disease to me. Have you had it looked at?

      My my you hit the nail on the head, Crohn's it is. Yes I had it looked at, kinda. Diagnosed in college, flare up now with different doctor. Lovely HMO's just spent 5 minutes with me, put me on the same meds as I told them via sketchy memory that I was on 3 years ago and rescheduled for 6 weeks later...6 weeks later still in pain and generally pissed off at not knowing what else to do. How proactive about this can I get? I've b

      • So, the frustrating thing about Crohn's is that it's cause is really unknown. There are a number of theories but a mechanistic approach to a cure cannot be based upon what we don't know. If I recall correctly from a second year med school class, (my research is about eyes now and it has been a while since I studied anything about the GI system, so....) Crohn's disease is one of those sliding scale diseases that can vary in severity among different folks. With some it's fairly mild, others it is quite de
        • Thanks for your input, it's nice to know someone understands it, rather than the usual blank stares when I don't explain it to others.

          This flare up may go away for a while or it may get worse. I suggest tracking it carefully and meeting with your physician to discuss this. (I know, HMO's suck. They really do, but don't get me going there). My advice would be to educate yourself about the disease and talk with your physician as an obviously educated patient. You tend to get better results that way.

          I don

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