I>He's long talked of "GNOME OS",
that would be fantastic - I wish he would go do that. Then maybe shit can get back to a normal working state...

I would advise my client the Pacemaker manufacturer to recall her device immediately to insure it was programmed properly.

apt-get install mc is the FIRST thing I do after debootstrap.

Definitely not news. Before peer-to-peer became a buzzword, a common way of distributing this kind of thing was to slit it into lots of rar files and upload each to a free hosting service. Things like i-drive and geocities, for example, would host things for free with something like a 10MB limit. A 100MB file would be split across ten of these sites and there'd be a web page somewhere with links to them all. The individual components had innocuous names, and the hosting companies couldn't tell that they were illegal because they couldn't decompress them without the other parts. Back then, hardly anyone had broadband, so you'd often download things by getting all of your friends to get one piece then passing a ZIP disk around to collect all of the pieces.

As oppose to FOX news and the rest of Murdoch's shoddy empire who are renowned for their scrupulous attention to journalistic detail!

Rupert Murdoch is the scum of the Earth.

Well, I know diddly about this stuff, but intuitively your proposal looks like this to me:

Bob shimmies out on the limb to get an apple way out there.
Right as he's reaching for it, fingers poised, in full concentration, all. most. there. ... CRACK!! the end of branch falls 7 feet from a severe break right at the trunk.
Paniced, Bob clings for dear life to the branch, as he sees the apple fall in slomo straight down to the ground below.
The unbroken bottom of the crack acts like a spring, preventing the branch from completely breaking off.
But the angle of the branch is too steep to back off it, and it's too far down to jump.
Plus every time he tries to move, the horizontal split through the branch move closer and closer to him from behind.
He's stuck.
Some people started running with a ladder, but they got into an agument, because some were pissed that Bob was stealing their apples when it all happened anyway. Let him fall they yelled, and kept the other neighbors from saving Bob with the ladder.
Night comes.
Bob's shitting cookies.
The neighbors go on vacation.
More cookies.
Then comes Tom.
He's got a string.
He throws the string up to Bob.
Bob ties the string to the cracked branch, then throws the string over the other, skinnier branch above him.
Pulling down on the string from over the skinny branch, Bob pulls himself back up, trying to level the branch enough so he can safely back off.
But we all know Bob.
He gets the cracked branch pulled up just about level, and he's just about to tie off the string, when suddenly there it is, gleaming red in the sunlight. Another apple.
and he lets go of the string to reach for the apple...

It'll never end.