TechnoLust's Journal: Why you should always drink the night before an exam. :-)

First of all, I can't take full credit for this theory. A guy that I worked with when I worked in Georgia gave me the basis and my first college roommate and I expanded upon it. Here goes:

Everyone knows about natural selection. You have a pack of zebras that can only move as fast as the slowest zebra, because they won't leave it behind. Lions come and attack, and of course, the slowest or dumbest zebras are killed and eaten. Since the slowest zebras are gone, the whole pack can move faster now.
It's like that with your brain. It can only think as fast as the slowest, dumbest brain cells. So, the night before an exam, you should drink several beers while studying. This will kill off the slow, dumb brain cells and the information you learn will be on the newer, faster, smarter ones. Then when you sleep, you regrow them and you have a little extra space for a short morning cram session before the test. Your brain as a whole will think faster and you will do better.

The thing that made me think of this was that I met a friend from college for lunch yesterday. She and I went to K-3 together, then high school, then we happened to go to the same college. She married a guy right after college and moved to be with him. They are still married, but she took a job in the city where I work, so she's back in the area and we meet for lunch sometimes. When we were in college, she and I and my first roommate and another girl always studied for Physics together. The two girls would not drink, and my roommate and I would... a lot. And we would get better grades than them every time. Of course, that probably has less to do with our theory and more to do with the fact that guys are just smarter than girls. (Just kidding Some Woman, Liora, daoine, bellus quies, KshGoddess, and any other girls that are reading... I just wanted to make sure you were paying attention.) :-)

*Disclaimer: TechnoLust makes no warranties, expressed or implied, as to the results of the aforementioned theory. Use at your own risk. Your mileage may vary. Objects in mirror may be closer than they appear. Batteries not included. Do not use to clean ear canal. Do not submerge in water.
In other words, if you get drunk and flunk out of college, don't come crying to me!

Classic

[jawtheshark]

This is a classic joke that has been circulating on the internet for years. It still is funny of course.
Since I love drinking, I make my braincells do natural selection all the time. Only I found out I feel more dumb lately than I did ten years ago. So long for the theory.

Thank you for this timely advice

[Some Woman]

I will be sure to incorporate it into my studying plans (which, until now, have consisted of hoping really, really hard that I pass thermo).

Re:Thank you for this timely advice

[arb]

... Of course, that probably has less to do with our theory and more to do with the fact that guys are just smarter than girls.

I will be sure to incorporate it into my studying plans

;-)

<g,d,r>