So a guy cracks a joke about having a rifle attachment play a theme song. Will this man ever put his hands on a M110 Sniper Rifle? Highly doubtful. the humor may be lost on you, but please don't be so upset over what some editor says on the internet.

Seek help. Now.

Do you mean chance or change? I think you also might be "verry" mistaken about the malware situation. Good luck when the phone calls start.