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Journal SolemnDragon's Journal: T minus (something) and counting 32

Journal by SolemnDragon
T minus FIVE days, and counting... I think i've decided what i'm doing for Lent.

For those just tuning in, no. I'm not Catholic. Or even Christian.

But i do believe in letting myself try things. And i have the strong urge to celebrate Lent this year, as a sort of fast to bring me closer to what i DO believe.

Can a hunger really feed a hunger? The answer is... Sometimes. In this case, it's a hunger for feeling as if i'm on the right road, and while there's a lot of other stuff to do about that, one part needs to be that i build up my willpower, and more importantly, that i practice making changes.

Really, Catholic Lent is not just 'suffering along with.' it's a sort of mourning, a giving something up to be closer to God. And for me, i don't advocate hunger fasts, and skipping meat some days would be more of what i do already. And since i can't eat most grains, i'd be down to dirt and rocks. (Well, no, not really. I can eat friuts and veggies, and dirt has bugs in it that would probably count as meat.)

anyway, the point is... i think i'm giving up chocolate and cut down on most refined sugars. (i'm not going to eliminate the sugar altogether)

How the heck is the chocoholic dragon gonna do that, you ask? Good question. Answer: i have NO freakin' clue. No, that's not entirely true. I've already been cutting down- i've switched back to decaf tea in the morning (twinings lady grey; it's an excellent tea that does come in decaf) with crystallised cane juice and converted milk. That's one chocolate gone. I've started eating breakfast for real- boiled quinoa flakes with raisins, for example- and that cuts out my hunger first thing in the morning, making me less likely to grab chocolate on the way out the door.

I've switched to lower-sugar snacks at those moments when i used to grab a bar of chocolate at work, particularly for elevenses (which i now take at ten, oddly enough, due to my working an early workday.) I'm still going to have to start bringing something NON-sugary from home, but i don't know what yet. I've still got to figure out what to do with the evening, too.

I know better than to think i can stop cold turkey. Nope! not happening. There are three things about it i need to think about:

-the fat
-the sugar rush, and
-the actual chocolate.

The fat is easy, i just need to replace it with things like nuts and seeds or something. The sugar should be replaced by fruit or by protein, which i should be getting more than average anyway due to the whole neuro thing. More protein equals better brain function; my docs talk this up a lot. The chocolate, well, that's the part that i'm going to have to do without entirely, though decaf tea might provide just enough of its other stimulant factors to make me feel better. It's working in the morning.

So now i just need a lot of low lactose (or lactose converted), high-good-fat, high-protein snack ideas. I won't bring peanut butter to work because it's not nice to do that when you handle all sorts of papers; too many people have peanut allergies in the world, and it bothers me that no one thinks about it. But there's got to be something. *sigh* I'll bring extra quinoa porridge for break, and if i'm full that will help. I'll need to come up with some kind of hard candy, too, because my job involves lots of phone work that the evoxac doesn't make up for, voicewise. I can't have nutrasweet so maybe i'll hit up a health food store and hunt for something sweetened with fruit juice.

If i find good recipes, i'll post them. I'm planning to be out and about a bit this weekend (and tonight i'm going to try grocery shopping yet again; i've been meaning to/trying to go after work for 3 days now.)

We're counting down! Then it's what, forty days? with no chocolate! No cocoa, no chockie, no nibbling at the brick in the fridge... i'm determined. *nod* I'm thinking i might just pop it all in the freezer, if i find out that it freezes well, so that it will be out of my immediate sight.

The exercise in willpower will be good for me. But i really will talk about it if i slip, because it doesn't render me instant evil. (Hm. "Instant Evil." that's like the opposite of holy water, right? Kind of a magical kool-aid? Just add evil and pour?)

I am determined NOT to lose any of my precious pounds, so there will be much eating between meals, between snacks, and so on. A hobbit's meal plan, as it were...

Sol

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  • I could kill caffiene cause I was forced to for a bit this week (when I was sick last week, I coudln't drink coffee for almost a week). But I also could start to exercise (call it... 'giving up laziness.' Trust me, I REALLY don't wanna do this, either, and it'll be good for me in the long run).
    • Giving up caffeine was REALLY hard for me, though that was my doctors' idea. If you can get through that first week- you might as well, you know? But the other thing is that without the stimulant, you'll HAVE to exercise. So you might try both at once.

      If you can't just stop, cut down both by half- pick up a pedometre and some decaf. Cut your coffee by half, and start walking a few extra steps every time you get up. The pedometre will help you out because after a couple of 'control' normal days, you can th

      • No! Not both! Blah!

        Yeah, I may have to do both... much against my will... I guess that's what lent's all about, though....
        • against your will? No, i think you're supposed to do it by choice- and hate it, and if you're catholic, like hating it. But what do i know- i'm pagan!

          Seriously, i'll email you inspiration if you want (hi, FK! Did you know that if you don't exercise, i'll send a guy over with a brick to throw at you on my behalf? And then we'll break out the rottweilers and go for a run! Yep, good to know you're - hey! put down that coffee cup! You're supposed to be - oh, hey, wake up!! HELLLOOOO, FK, wake up! damn, guess

          • Do that and I'll start making my infamous Ghirardelli chocolate mousse ;-)

            Seriously, though, we should email each other from time to time to make sure we're staying on course :-)
            I already bought myself a can of decaf espresso. Here's hoping it tastes just as good...
            • oh, crikey. I hadn't thought about that; if i'm gonna try a chocolate souffle, i better try it before the 23rd!! (to leave mistake time and eating time)

              This might wait till Lent is over, when my apartment is going to either magically transform into a candy palace, with a roly-poly dragon stuffing herself silly, or i'm going to have me a chocolate party or something.

              My worst case scenario is i get ready to eat chocolate again and find that the month and a half without it have left me not liking it. But i

              • You've got till the 24th. The 24th=Mardi Gras (fat tuesday) where everyone does the thing they are giving up for lent all night until Wednesday (ash wednesday) rings in with the start of Lent.

                Yeah, yeah... born and raised Catholic... so shoot me...

                No wait! IT WAS JUST A FIGURE OF SPE.... OWW!
                • i'm not doing the fat tuesday thing if i can help it because it always seemed to defeat the point- just like i'm not going to do the sundays-off thing if i can help it. I mean, if you really just save it up, aren't you just rearranging it on your plate, rather than removing it? So i figure i'm still going to use these days as a cutting down, to get used to stopping.

                  So they party till midnight, or what?

                  I've been meaning to go to mardi gras in New Orleans for years, and if i get there, y'all will recognis

                  • Sunday's off? That was made up by a weak Catholic, and I haven't heard that until very recently. The day you get off is Easter, and that's cause lent is over. Its 40 days, no vacations.

                    And party is supposed to last till midnight, but people are usually so drunk that it goes on until the morning.

                    And don't go to Nawlins for Mardi Gras unless you plan on dibatchery, cause that's where you usually end up whether you want to or not (imagine the worst college party, multiple it by 5,000... that's nawlins m
                    • imagine the worst college party, multiple it by 5,000... that's nawlins mardi gras... its been taken over by the drunken college fratboy population).

                      Kinda -- but it's really sweet in a way. It's not just frat boys; older guys are there, too, and they always buy the best beads and appreciate a good flash (or whatever else you give 'em) more than the young'uns.

                      But in New Orleans, the party *does* end at midnight -- the cops come down the street 10 wide on horseback and clear everybody out. By morning, th

                    • And don't go to Nawlins for Mardi Gras unless you plan on dibatchery,

                      I thought Bourbon Street was the only place where debauchery is allowed. Don't they have more "family friendly" activites, like parades? This FAQ [mardigrasday.com] indicates nudity/flashing is only allowed in the French Quarter (same place as Bourbon St?). It also talks about children, so I don't think it's all debauchery, is it?

                      Maybe I don't know enough about it. I did do some research as I was thinking of going to Mardi Gras this year, but it doesn't

                    • There's debauchery everywhere, to varying degrees.

                      I rode on a parade float in one of the parades during my first Mardi Gras, and believe me -- there are plenty of chicks flashing the floats to get "good beads" tossed their way. Yes, there were kids watching the parade, too, but that doesn't stop anyone from having their own brand of fun, and the cops are busy stopping people from doing actual damage (*lots* of pickpocketing going on!). That FAQ *is* just PR, after all.

                      To avoid the rough stuff, you've go
                  • Eeeeew. You *don't* want to pick up *anything* on the ground at Mardi Gras. Trust me.

                    You think door handles & telephones are bad?! You don't need a microscope to see it in NOLA!

                    Oh, and the parasol won't help you -- in many spots, it's body-to-body, hi-what's-your-name, apparently-you-like-that-girl's-tits-a-LOT kind of crowded.

                    ....Bethanie....
  • In terms of your nutritional balance. Then there is the psychological balance. :-) Good idea about the freezer, if that works OK. If not, perhaps you would need someone to take, uh, custody of your chocolate for a while...
  • You'll be glad you cut out the refined sugar in the long run, though it might seem like hell in the beginning.

    As for the protein, hmmm. You could always combine your love for chocolate with your need for protein and invest in chocolate flavored protein powder. If you can't use whey protein (the best kind), then try egg protein. And by the way, it's true what they say that increasing the amount of protein in your diet will curb the sweet tooth.

    • except there will be cocoa in the powder, and even if there isn't, i have to track down every single ingredient to make sure that it's safe for me to use. Which, in 2+ years of looking, hasn't happened yet.

      No, chocolate means giving up everything cacao-related except the skin lotion that has cocoa butter in it. (though i might give that up too, just to remove the reminder- it's scented divinely!)

      I'll be doing this the good old-fashioned way- with whole food!

  • I used to drink soda like a fish (at least a six-pack a day), when I cut out caffene and sugar cold turkey.

    The downside to cutting sugar? You quickly realize how much sugar is in everything. I used to love---absolutely love---catsup. Now it takes like super-sweet syrup: blecch!

    The upside is I don't need anything in the morning to wake up and stay awake. No more dragging up out of bed, then the commute and to work. I wake up all ready to go, baby!

    • believe me, i already know, 'cause i have to be so aware of every OTHER ingredient- like wheat! it's in everything. What kind of vinegar is in the ketchup? Right, call the company and ask. *sigh* i know way too much about what's in my food....
  • I am one of those "peanut allergy" people. In fact, I just had another day in the hospital on tuesday. I went to a new allergist (first allergist visit in almost 10 years) and he wanted to redo the prick test (it came back positive. I am a prick ;) ). Anyways, I told him about my peanut problems, he said he's well aware of how bad peanut allergies can be and that I was already in the doctor's office if anything went wrong. Well ~4 minutes after the prick test, I lost conciousness.

    Anyways, you can and
    • except that i handle documents that then go to dozens of other people, who pass them on. I guess i started thinking about it when i realised that i had to wipe down tables before i sat at them because people leave bread crumbs. And i thought, i don't have the severe anaphlaxis problem- but what about people who do? And then i thought about the preschools where kids suddenly develop peanut allergies and then it's a peanut-free place, whether the kid survives or not. And you've posted about your allergies. I
      • Diana's microbiology class did a project last year that involved swabbing a lot of common things and areas, and culturing the results. The worst thing? Door knobs and handles. And the worst door handles were the ones in the restrooms, or course. You don't really want to know what that culture looked like. Trust me on this - wash and dry your hands, and save the paper towel to open the door. For push doors, use your elbow or shoulder.

        And no, it's not OCD talking. :-)
        • Mythbusters did a test to see if germs got from the toilet to the toothbrush. They had two control toothbrushes in another room, and THEY cultured positive for fecal coliform bacteria; don't even start about all the samples in the bathroom itself.

          Personally, I don't think there's any way you can avoid it. By all means, wash your hands! But don't pretend a paper towl on the door of the wo/men's room is going to do much of anything to save you from the general miasma.

        • I have to say, those months when i had immune issues were educational for me. Topics of discussion with doctors were, "Don't touch handles" and, "don't touch things on the train." They said the train and the handrails of stairs and escalators were tied for runner-up... and then came the brochure asking, "Who's been using your phone?" done goldilocks-in-the-office style. Ick!!! It was not a pretty conversation, but it was VERY enlightening. Made me start with the antibacterial after signing for packages- all
        • You mean everyone doesn't already do that?! I actually yelled at a guy in a movie theater because he started to leave the restroom without washing his hands. Then I realized he was bigger than me. :-/
    • I don't appreciate people that know about screwing with me and offering me peanut butter cups as a prank.

      That is just evil. I for one would never ever mess with other people's food allergies. When I have dinner guests, I always ask about food allergies/intolerances and make sure that I don't have it in or near any of the food. If I knew someone were allergic to say peanuts, I'd avoid contact with that person if I had just eaten a big fat peanut butter sandwich. I wouldn't even take that big fat peanut but

  • I can just as easily shed the organized religious bullshit as anyone, so let's just consider that done. I subscribe to Christian ethics, but I'm down with Buddha. Impermanence, baby.

    The point of the exercise, as I believe it was intended by the Christ that I know, is to deprive yourself of something to choose the suffering of another, and bear it, so that you can know the suffering.

    Stopping smoking, or going on a diet, or organizing the garage, or whatever self-improvement project you can name (you make
    • i'm already doing what you do. My food does have to come from home.

      Yep. three meals a day, prepared by me so i know they're safe.

      One of my pain exercises actually revolves around that very subject, though. And it doesn't lessen the physical stuff, but it's made it much easier to take without making me a martyr. So it works. giving up chocolate is giving up something that is one of my very few comfort foods. There are very few luxury foods in my diet, and chocolate is one of them. that's why all this tal

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