Comment Re:Watch out for your "chick" stereotypes, please! (Score 3) 451
When I got into my computing degree I was massively in the minority as a female, something intimidating in itself. I've never been that confident in dating (very shy), and had extremely poor luck when I nervously introduced myself to others. Despite the fact that I hoped that my fellow geeks would be the intelligent, sensitive sort, I ended up blinking in bewilderment as they downloaded porn and played Doom (took me ages to like Doom...) in the computer labs. Hardly conducive to dating, really, being compared with a blond sex kitten with an IQ in single digits or the lure of a BFG.
My luck got better when I advertised for players at the Uni on a roleplaying forum and I met my current fiance, a large gaming gentleman who didn't try to impress me with his highscores in the latest ultraviolence game, how much better his computer was than mine, or how obfuscated he could get his code. He was merely nice to me and found excuses to do fun things with me, to spend time with me, as I did with him. Sometimes this was working on a program together, sometimes this was being online together...sometimes this was rockclimbing or hiking.
What a surprise, it worked! We're getting married next year.
I like geeks. I *am* a geek! All of my friends are geeks. I only ever wanted to date geeks...but it took ages to find one who wanted an equal rather than an inferior to be better than or a superior to be scared of. The last creature on earth I wanted to date was a jock - I'd rather eat an O Reilly text first (or make them eat it :).
So it's no surprise that geeks who tried to act like jocks aren't attractive to the grrls who need modems. One of the most common laments I hear from geek female companions is the lack of nice guys - and you're in the same basket as the idiots if you seem obsessed with superficialities like system speeds (how fast was your car again? :( ) rather than having a conversation.
I know there's a lot of nice guys out there. I meet them online all the time. But finding you offline seems impossible - we're shy too, and we're wary after long years of being socially engineered into the ugly mousy box. We feel inferior enough without being made nervous of our masculine counterparts by hearing we don't exist or that we only want violent shmucks...
(As an aside which I'm not allowed to make, rock climbing's great for RSI :) Mmm...geeks in lycra)
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My luck got better when I advertised for players at the Uni on a roleplaying forum and I met my current fiance, a large gaming gentleman who didn't try to impress me with his highscores in the latest ultraviolence game, how much better his computer was than mine, or how obfuscated he could get his code. He was merely nice to me and found excuses to do fun things with me, to spend time with me, as I did with him. Sometimes this was working on a program together, sometimes this was being online together...sometimes this was rockclimbing or hiking.
What a surprise, it worked! We're getting married next year.
I like geeks. I *am* a geek! All of my friends are geeks. I only ever wanted to date geeks...but it took ages to find one who wanted an equal rather than an inferior to be better than or a superior to be scared of. The last creature on earth I wanted to date was a jock - I'd rather eat an O Reilly text first (or make them eat it
So it's no surprise that geeks who tried to act like jocks aren't attractive to the grrls who need modems. One of the most common laments I hear from geek female companions is the lack of nice guys - and you're in the same basket as the idiots if you seem obsessed with superficialities like system speeds (how fast was your car again?
I know there's a lot of nice guys out there. I meet them online all the time. But finding you offline seems impossible - we're shy too, and we're wary after long years of being socially engineered into the ugly mousy box. We feel inferior enough without being made nervous of our masculine counterparts by hearing we don't exist or that we only want violent shmucks...
(As an aside which I'm not allowed to make, rock climbing's great for RSI
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