I'm up late and didn't realize it was APRIL FOOLS, I needed this truly, thank you!

I used to put cream and sugar in my coffee, eat processed foods, and drink cheap beer. I was a very nice caring person before this diet rewired my brain. Now that I'm psychotic and sadistic, I'm starting to feel a preference for black coffee. Oh, and IPA beer and extra sharp cheddar cheese too.

Dammit, I was really close to clicking the buy button for a dual monitor desktop running their pop-whatever version of linux. This was based on their (perceived by me) reputation of being a no-nonsense and very helpful customer support system provider. Well, they just threw all that in the trash bin for me. I don't give a FUCKING SHIT about broken robots. System76, you just lost all the credibility you had for me. I'll be finding my next Linux system from somewhere else. Zareason is looking good right now. System76, you've dug a very deep hole you're going to have a long crawl out of before you can have any hope of gaining my respect as a serious player in this game again.

I can't think of a better example

Fall starts the first day I need to think about wearing more than is barely legal when I go outside.

Actually while there are no known good uses of spam, there are some good uses of junkmail:

1. If I don't have any mail coming in, the USPS carrier DOES NOT check to see if I have outgoing mail. So bills going out don't go anywhere until something comes in. So as long as I'm getting enough junkmail that something comes in every day, I get out going service every day.

2. If it rains anywhere within 3 miles, my mail will be wet that day. The more of it is junkmail, the more likely the important mail will be dry since statistically it will be tucked between two pieces of junkmail.

3. If it is very hot, it is more likely that my junk mail will be resting on the carrier's sweaty arm soaking up sweat than an important letter that I really wanted to keep.

4. There are tons of well known uses for news print, like setting down to catch paint drips. As long as I'm getting junkmail, I don't have to go out and buy newspapers for this kind of stuff.

5. And last but not least, how else could I maintain my sticker collection? You know, the yes,no,maybes and all those cool little stickers they want you to send back! No way! I'm keeping them all!

If someone could come up with a use for spam even half as good as even one of the above reasons, they would change the world!