Pirogoeth's Journal: KOC: Orfister, jutstick, and friends

Well, I think I've been annoying enough to draw their attention. We've exchanged some taunts back and forth, and they've been attempting to pound away at my DA=100 no-armor defense to no avail.

I got a nice email from Loolywag:

Hey I tried. It seems you're such a loser there is nothing to destroy. It's like trying to destroy the homes of the homeless. No matter. Those associated with you will be squeeling shortly, for they have homes. And you, you will make all the farm lists.

Chow.

My reply?

Ooh... Can I sing while you try to farm me?

Let's see...

"Old MacPirogoethX had a farm, L-O-S-E-R
And on that farm he had some suckers, L-O-S-E-R
With a Loolywag here and an orfister there
Here a jutstick there a killerbraid everywhere a manstick
Old MacPirogoethX had a farm L-O-S-E-R"

XOXOXO

I never thought this game would be this fun!

BTW... this homeless loser's SA just crossed the 10,000,000 mark. Time to start bringing the hurt...

At times like this

[gmhowell]

this homeless loser's SA just crossed the 10,000,000 mark. Time to start bringing the hurt...

It's at times like this that I wish the game would generate a movie of the ensuing carnage. I'd pay to see some ass whoopin' like this.

Re:At times like this

[Pirogoeth]

This is what happens:

You vaporized the enemy!

As JutStick's army runs from the battlefield you examine the collected spoils:
You stole 1,292,070 gold from JutStick!
You return to camp, your troops elated from your glorious victory.

Mercs

[FortKnox]

They can't come close to breaking my D, so they are employing the 5X1-turn attacks. So I bought over 600 mercs. Told them all that they'd be better off saving their turns for when it counts.

550 left. No hair off my back.

Re:Mercs

[Abm0raz]

Why mercs? Do they get killed off first or something?

-Ab

Re:Mercs

[Pirogoeth]

As I understand it, Mercs get killed first, followed by untrained soldiers, then trained soldiers.

Too expensive for me, though.

Re:Mercs

[Abm0raz]

well, an untrained merc is 3500 gold. A normal soldier generates 28 gold/turn (for everyone but humans) * 48 turns/day = 1344 gold/day. If a merc lives 3 days, it's paid for itself. Trained mercs are 4500, so they have to live ~3.5days to pay for themselves.

-Ab

Re:Mercs

[lab16]

But as I understand it, mercs don't generate their own revenue, or am I mistaken?

Re:Mercs

[The Third Goat]

I need to do the same. Loolywag just killed 92 of my guys with a 5x1 attack.

Why are there never any mercs when I want to buy some? I haven't figured out how that works yet

Hmmm, now I just clicked on Loolywag's link and it came up "Invalid user ID." The same for orfister and jutstick. Did the wussies quit?

Re:Mercs

[Pirogoeth]

I just got an email back from manstick. Apparantly my 1,200,000 gold haul from jutstick was too much for him to take and he quit.

Waaaah.

Re:Mercs

[gmhowell]

You must post the emails.

Re:Mercs

[mekkab]

OHMIFUCKINGGODROFLMAO! This game gets better and better!