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Comment Re:God dammit (Score 1) 123

might be a trend there, three out of the other six IT techs in my employer's company have asian wives as I do. there is a traditional cultural thing where asian women are not treated well by the men. in the USA they see that things can be different, other men have proper respect for women. if you are kind, dependable, genuinely interested in them, have a job you can be their Mr. Right.

I have also seen that there are many Asian women dating or married to software engineers, but I think it would be a mistake to believe that they all a) were born and raised in Asia, b) have a past history of experiencing patriarchal abuse or discrimination, or c) are involved with their partners only or primarily because of the kindness, dependability, and genuine interest that their partners show in them as contrasted with their previous partners (or other role models they've seen via the media, relatives and friends, etc.).

I think it is true that certain Asian cultures historically have not promoted gender equality as much as they should or could have (ahem, Korea and Japan), but this is also true of many other cultures, and I'm not sure if you'd be willing to make the same generalization about, say, Latino women dating Americans (machismo is huge in many Latin American countries). It's not all Asian countries, though - Mao was pretty explicit about "women holding up half the sky" during his reign, and actually in Shanghai there's a stereotype where boyfriends are nice and compliant creatures who are tyrannized by their demanding girlfriends. I have dated Chinese or part-Chinese guys and found them to be very respectful, dependable, genuinely interested in me, employed, kind, etc. By the way, I am ethnically Korean but born and raised in the US.

I think if you asked the Asian women married to your company's IT techs why they are married to them, you might find answers that deal a little more directly with the specific personality fit of each couple rather than a baseline of being kind, dependable, genuinely interested in them, and employed. Asian cultures do tend to glorify education and STEM disciplines especially, which may be the cultural factor you're looking for since engineers have that in spades, but I think it still boils down to personality fit.

Comment Re:God dammit (Score 1) 123

Actually the lure of the exotic cuts both ways. To Miss Whateverstate you may be just some loser nerd from a similar high school that grew up watching B grade TV comedy. To a girl that grew up on a farm in China near the Russian and North Korean borders you may be an interesting technocrat with an impressive command of English and full of witty comments she's never heard before.

For my part, I started dating Kenton not because he was exotic to me, but because he understood me better than almost all of the guys I've dated before. I was a linguistics major and I have an abnormally large vocabulary and tend to use pretty complicated syntax - Kenton never seemed to be put off by that, in contrast to many guys I've known. We also have a lot of common interests, video games being one of them (I work in game development). I personally think I'm wittier, but that may be because I tend to inflate my witticism count with "that's what she said" jokes.

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