Comment Re:Care more than just "morals" (Score 1) 30
Yep.
It's not just that it's a significant proportion of your life, people can't physically do it, especially not to the standards of care we expect today.
As you say in the past people with dementia would have died of all sorts of preventable things like being lost in the woods. You'd find out in the morning, maybe people would go look, maybe you find a body. That wandering off isn't supposed to happen now, if it does the authorities get involved etc etc. Not in a bad way, the police will go looking to bring them back, an ambulance will come to check up on them and the council may send someone to discuss options.
Yup, it is a humanitarian thing, and trying to keep people safe. Something like that happened with my MIL. She was far into end stage dementia, the part where the brain is so far gone that bodily processes are shutting down. She was in an end care nursing facility. Her heart stopped early one morning. The damn EMTs arrived, and after 10 or maybe 15 minutes, they got it started again. So we ended up with her at the hospital. Doctor came in and told us she was basically brain dead. So there she was on a ventilator, and it extended her so called life another 5 hours or so.
It was at that point I thought to myself - no way, no more. I didn't blame the EMT's, but I was surely not happy what they did.
But also the end result is it's also way more work to look after someone to modern standards. No one can give 24/7 care, it's not physically possible. No just going to bed and hoping they are there in the morning. Trouble is it creeps up.
I had to convince the wife that needed to happen. She was exhausted from all that stuff that creeped up, so it really wasn't too hard to convince her in the end.
I'm trying to work out an exit strategy that I think I can execute if it comes to it. I don't want to put anyone through this horror, but neither would I like them imprisoned for murder. Hopefully though it won't.
It is a problem to even discuss. Say something to the wrong person, and next thing you know, you have therapists and suicide hotline type people call you. Yet I'm the farthest thing from suicidal, I just want to save my family from that "long goodbye", a particular cruelty of modern life..