Journal: Look at how intelligent and wise I am!

Let me just cut to the chase:

Read my journal and be stunned by how insightful it is. Bask in wonder at how my words improve your life and make you a better person. Prostrate yourself in awe of how socially keen and cutting-edge I am. I am extremely intelligent and witty; I want those sharp enough to seek me out to know it as reward for finding my journal.