Jediman1138's Journal: Dreams Never End

I'm feeling way too many things right now.

Kira called me last night sobbing because Pearse had broken up with her. I had never heard her cry so hard before. It broke my heart hearing her and knowing I couldn't be there with her to help her. I love that girl so much, and I'm glad they patched up today. She called me again today around 9, and we talked while she walked home from the train station to her apartment. It's nice hearing her laugh again.

And then of course, there are the more local problems.

My grades are pretty terrible. I've been far too concerned with love, music, and any other number of things to focus on them, but I've been trying to get better at it. It's hard when you never really developed a work ethic. My goal is to at least get High Honor Roll again.

Work has been shitty. Chris hired Vince Marietta for electronics, so I got the shaft and am stuck with stockman for now. I don't mind too much, seeing as how I really do enjoy the exercise it gets me. I don't worry so much anymore about feeling like a pussy, though my arms are seriously out of proportion. I've been doing lots of situps, pushups, and chinups, lately as well.

Just enough to do the trick. Austin doesn't need to look like The Terminator.

And then there is the much more obvious (and truthfully more important) situation with love.

I believe it comes down to being a matter of being at the right place at the wrong time. It will work out eventually, I'm sure of this, no matter much I worry. We'll be together some day. It's too obvious that it has to happen. I just hate waiting. Stop being so damn impatient, but don't let it go this time, Austin. For God's sake, man, don't let it go.

So right now I'm listening to New Order as I always do in moods like this. I've got to be at work in 7 hours. Not sure what will go down after that.

Time will tell.

3.

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"Now I know what those hands would do
No looking back now, we're pushing through
We'll change these feelings, we'll taste and see"