Journal FroMan's Journal: As a father... 7
As a father, I have learned much in the last couple months I thought I should pass along.
1. I have Schrodinger's baby. It is similar to his cat, except that he doesn't cry until monitored.
2. Sleep when the baby sleeps is a euphemism for don't sleep.
3. Food goes in the noisey end. Stuff that is not food comes out the slightly less noisey end.
4. Working 4 10s instead of 5 8s is a great way to be home and extra day a week.
5. When your child smiles it makes up for all the screaming he was doing 2 minutes ago.
6. 0 to Fuss is measured in microseconds. Hot rods have nothing on a baby.
7. Schadenfreude acurrately describes giving a child a bath after a bad day.
8. Don't mess with the sleeping child.
9. See number 9.
10. Things change. Like diapers for instance. Change stinks.
11. Changes used to be the worst thing in the world. Now they settle him down. Go figure.
12. I have great respect for single parents who have lost their spouse. I think those who do it by choice are idiots.
13. Note to pastor: Skip the explaination, just baptise him or you are going to have a very upset baby on your hands.
14. Sometimes the burp cloth seems to contain more than he ate. Not sure how that happens.
15. 8 straight hours of sleep doesn't happen. He may get 8 hours, but you will most likely shoot for 6.
16. My wife is amazing. I simpley could not imagine doing this all by myself.
17. Sometimes you have to break the rules. Listen to the child.
18. Family is a blessing. Even if an annoying one that has its own opinion of how things should be done.
19. Pacifiers only work if the kids wants it to work. Otherwise they can become projectiles with a range of about 20 inches.
20. Swings are good. NO THEY ARE HORRIBLE! They are good. It really just depends on the current mood. See 6.
21. Bouncey seats are good. NO THEY ARE HORRIBLE! See 20.
22. My wife made a sling to carry him around. Everyone else is jealous except this one family from China. They use slings too with their kids.
23. He arrived with the idea that he would be crawling the next day. He is still upset he isn't.
24. Sleep bags are great. Zip him up and he becomes a little less mobile and his head isn't rubbing on the slats of the crib 2 minutes after you leave the room.
25. Pants and a shirt are to look cute in. Practicallity value of 0.
26. Take lots of pictures. Otherwise your mom will badger you.
27. My memory is horrible. I am keeping a journal each day to remember the embarrasing things for his wedding.
28. I think I am going to give him the journal someday. He will probably appreciate it, since I won't have evidence anymore.
29. My back hurts. Arms get sore too. But the ears don't hurt when everything else does.
30. Jesus Loves Me has three versus and can take upto an hour to finish the song. Three versus repeated a couple dozen times anyways.
31. A nighttime pattern is something you can start pretty early. He figured it out around a month and half. Feed, change diaper and into night clothes, scream while daddy is praying, and be put into crib and sleep.
32. A daytime patter is much more difficult to establish.
33. Red eye flashes do not work so well for babies. Gimp 4tw!
34. Don't panic. It only upsets the baby. And the spouse. And in 2 months has not helped a whit of good.
35. In the car, double check the child is actually buckled into the seat, not just set in there cause you were carrying him.
36. Seats that "plug in" to the base which is left in the car are the coolest. Get one for every car.
37. Breast pumps are pretty cool. And not nearly as complex as you would think. And just because they appear broken does not mean they actually are.
38. For all the hours I put into making the glider crib, he doesn't really care for the glider aspect. I thought it was fun though.
39. Car rides are good. Care rides are bad. See 6.
40. Sitting and staring at one thing for too long (2 seconds upto 3 seconds) is bad. We are suppose to be moving.
41. Mommy for rocking.
42. Daddy for walking.
43. When they say breast fed babies poop yellow cottage cheese looking stuff, yeah, I never liked cottage cheese anyways.
44. Saving a couple weeks of vacation for right when he was born was probably on of the best things I have ever done.
45. Get up and help change the diaper while mom gets ready to feed him. She will appreciate it and you are not really going to sleep anyways.
46. Do not keep the crib in your bed room. Really bad idea. It took all of 2 days before it was moved.
47. A killer feature for a baby monitor would be a decible level. Like any noise not louder than a certain point isn't filtered through.
48. Another killer feature for a baby monitor would be a snooze button. I know he is going to fuss and cry for a couple minutes, just give me abreak for 5 minutes and see if he stops.
49. It is hard being away from my wife and child during the day.
50. It really isn't about you anymore. It is about him.
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52. Parents are people too.
53. Try gas drops first.
Glad things are going well, I much like the first few months. Despite the sleep deprivation and all the work, it's awesome to just hang out with the baby while they still have that new-baby smell.
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52, bah, one of us is the vending machine, the other is the mobility-unit. I have no idea where you think parents are people too.
We did the gas drops once. But he really hasn't been too bad. We are quite careful when we use the bottle to make sure he has a good latch so he doesn't swallow much air (I'm
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RE: Glider crib (Score:2)
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I'm in your glider crib playin with your toyz!
#12 (Score:2)
#54 (Score:2)
It's a bad idea to call it "baby sitting" when in earshot of the wife, or any female for that matter... ('8