Em Emalb's Journal: A long time ago, in a galaxy really close by.

Once upon a time, there was nothing. A vast emptiness stretched as far as the brain could process.

Em saw this, and was saddened. Deciding to do something about it, he rolled up his sleeves, belched loudly, cackled once and began farting out planets.

Soon he grew weary of the gas, and decided to color on the planets. One planet in particular he made an ugly shade of blue, mixed with some green and a bit of brown. Deciding this wasn't enough, and that the poor planet wasn't as cool as it's nearest Red neighbor, he decided to make the planet animated.

Using all manner of creatures, great and small, some weird, some not, he found a nice happy medium he called humanoids. (Humanoids cannot be soothed by the application of Preparation H)

Soon the humanoids wanted to make more humanoids, so Em gave them reproductive powers. They screwed like wild Snarful-hounds from Planet 5131A9Bx. (Which is quite a lot, if you must know) Em decided this was most definitely NOT-SCOTTISH, and destroyed them all. Soon thereafter he realized this butt-ugly planet needed some more humanoids on it. He created two. They screwed, had some kids, they screwed, etc...until 6 billion people were out there.

Then he rested.

And THAT my friends, is why ICE CREAM IS BETTER THAN PIE.

Cause Em (tha Creata) said so.

Editorial:Yeah, I know. Let it go. I'm allowed to be completely whacko sometimes too, right?

A) Yes.

B) No.

C) Shut up dude.

D) Damn, DaytonCM is gonna have his hands full beating that one.
;)

Re: you dimwit

[Em Emalb]

did not. perhaps it was intentional. Remember, I'm one quirky fucker.

Re: you dimwit

[heliocentric]

This is slashdot land where even the editors who check the submissions miss such things. Why not keep with the theme?

Pithy come back incoming

[DaytonCIM]

"You're a bastard."

That is all. ;)

Re:

[account_deleted]

Comment removed based on user account deletion

Re:E)

[jawtheshark]

I was actually going to vote for E too... but with another meaning: E) BEER!

Beer is better than PIE and ICE CREAM together. After all, beer is proof that God^H^H^HEm Emalb loves us.

Re:E)

[Pirogoeth]

Of course, there's always vanilla ice cream in your Guinness...

Re:E)

[RevMike]

Shiver

The nectar needs no additions! But I like to use it to chase a few shots of Bushmills Malt 16 yr old. There is a party in my mouth.

Re:E)

[dthable]

Less ice cream and more Irish whiskey and Bailey's. Mmmmmmm. Irish carm bomb.

a) or I'm a paradox

[insanecarbonbasedlif]

now, I couldn't go around condemning people for acting out, or else I would be contradicting my chosen nickname...

E. Put down the pipe

[Jellybob]

I dunno what you're smoking today, but I think you've had enough, and it's time to pass it over here.

f)

[Hi_2k]

Not only is everyone allowed to go a little whacko, they are required to.

D) So much material....

[bethanie]

You talk about being whacko, hands full, and beating, and they want me to keep my mouth shut?

Really, now that's just not fair.

....Bethanie....

Re:D) So much material....

[Pirogoeth]

Only a select few. We all (or at least I do) think it, you just say it before any of us can.

And I love you for that as it keeps me out of trouble...

I'm completely stunned

[FortKnox]

If that's how God created life, I understand why I feel so great lounging around on a sunday afternoon watching football!!

Honestly, though, em... I'm stunned.... this has to be...


THE BEST FRICKIN JOURNAL ENTRY TO EVER COME OUT OF EM EMALB'S JOURNAL!!!!

And for the record, I choose D.) ;-)

Re:I'm completely stunned

[Em Emalb]

Who needs a Pulitzer when ringing endorsements such as this happen?

Wow. I'm a bit verklempt. Wait, no, it's just gas.

F) Confused

[TechnoLust]

With all that talk about screwing and reproduction and you being a creata, I thought you were going to tell us you guys were going to have a kid.

Oh, and yes you can be crazy whenever you want.

Time to perform an emergency...

[TheConfusedOne]

...Douglas Adams-ectomy?

Sounds (err, reads) like you're channelling for a British author or two.

I still want to see a proof or disproof of the Good Omen's theorem stating that any tape left in a car for a fortnight becomes a Best of Queen tape.

Jagermeister and Cornflakes!!!!

[spumoni_fettuccini]

Woke up really, really, reallllllyyyyy, [uh did I mention really?] hung over one morning at a RennFaire and me and a friend 'o' mine whipped up a batch. Mmm-mm good. Cures the dog that bit cha ;)

here-here

[Abm0raz]

Being of scottish hertiage, I have to concur.
If'n i' ain't sco'ish, i's crap

-Ab