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Comment Nice, but... (Score -1, Troll) 350

Fellow Linux Users, You know me as Linus Torvaulds, the Norwegian university student who around ten years ago wrote Linucks from scratch in an effort to join ACM on campus. I did not do this to help further the field of computing. I did this simply because I know that a lot of guys major in Computer Science and other computer-related majors in college, and I thought that joining ACM would be a good way to meet other guys and perhaps explore my latent homosexual tendencies. It is here, with this group, on a field-trip to Michigan that I met Rob "CmdrTaco" Malda and his friend, Jonathan "CowboyNeal" Pater. Upon seeing Cowboi, I immediately fell in love. CowboyNeal, or as I affectionately called him in email messages to him, Cowboi, had more feminine curves than most women I've known in his morbidly obese body. I found him very fetching from the get-go. However, at the time, CmdrTaco and CowboyNeal were an item. How would I endure? How was I to survive when my beloved Cowboi was betrothed to another? I followed my heart and decided to talk to Taco about this and hopefully to at least let my feelings be known. Taco took this very well. He accepted and welcomed my feelings for Cowboi, saying that any man would clearly be attracted to his supple feminine curves. He offered to buy me a drink at a local pub. I took him up on it, and that was my first mistake. After a few minutes at the pub and a few sips of my drink, I began to realize that I had made a horrible mistake. My vision began to get cloudy. I couldn't speak very well. I wasn't sure what would happen to me. Taco held me close and told me everything would be okay. He took me back to his apartment, where he performed oral sex upon me, with a little twist; he blew the semen from our overture out of his nose. Yes, this was the invention of the horrible practice of "taco snotting." From this day forth, I have been writing Linucks as a way to get even with Taco and Cowboi. I wanted Cowboi much more than Taco, and when I lost my gay virginity to him, I was enraged. It's became my life, my curse, my mission to make Taco pay by wasting his life promoting software made by dirty, hypocritical gays like Richard M. Stallman. Linucks has turned out to be much bigger than I had thought. I have added special features to it to make it scale not quite as well as NT. I have subtracted features from it, such as USB support and support for other architectures that make it clearly an inferior platform to NT. Still, Taco insists on spending his life promoting such a system. It's obvious to me that my ultimate revenge has been exacted. I'm tired of hiding behind lies. I hope Cowboi will, someday, be mine. Linus Torvaulds

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