Comment Please (Score 5, Insightful) 153
Please don't ruin it.
Get a friend to pass around a rumor that he caught you watching a porn clip and masturbating onto the keyboard. Nobody will ask for it anymore.
Alternatively, get a friend to pass around a rumor that he caught you watching a lecture recording and masturbating onto the keyboard.
"You show me an American who can keep his mouth shut and I'll eat him." -- Newspaperman from Frank Capra's _Meet_John_Doe_