"The system remains down Thursday, with no ETA in sight.""

Can't find those 5.25" floppy disks for DOS 3.1 I see. Time to check ebay.

Reminds me of one of the "funny squawk sheets" that was posted in my flight school once. One of the items read something like:

Pilot: Auto-land very rough, please fix.
Mechanic: Auto-land not installed in this aircraft.