That's why my toupee is made entirely of $100 bills.

Only if they hand me an envelope with the discussion we're about to have on it, then we have the conversation, then I open it up, and there is it, line for line.

When I was very young, I did get a little anal seepage from time to time.

REPORT CLOSED: WORKS AS INTENDED

In all fairness, outsourcing it to Canada made sense. We're cheaper, we have health care already, and speak English with an approximate degree of usefulness.*

So, on behalf of our country, I apologize for any inconveniences you have suffered from the sheer shittiness of the ACA software. As a measure of our sincerity, you may pick up one(1) bottle of maple syrup from our strategic reserve.

*offre non valable au Québec

ch3@p plut0n1um!! Buy CANDU plut0n1um at r0-ck b0ttom pr1c3s!

Fuck the Iranians, I'm signing up for everything.

Everything.

Every.

Thing.

We will choke them to death on our spam.

That's 31 flavours of bullshit.

Er, I'm calling Google assholes, not you a liar. I believe you.

That's why I told them a fake name and use a picture of a robot for my avatar.

I'm going to GIMP up my DL to show the fake and email it to them.

Yep, I've killed billions upon billions of NPCs ("Well, more bodies in my wake, let's go"), including innocent bystanders, blown up planets, left people to die in vacuum, to suffocate, committed genocide, xenocide, whatever.

Nothing in all the years I've been gaming has anything made me feel as uncomfortable as the torture mission in GTAV.

I've seen movies of cats jumping from the top of telephone poles and walking away like "fuck all y'all in the loud trucks, can't a furball take a fuckin' nap?"

It's super easy. Just grab some blue overalls, a toolbox, and a plunger.

"I'm here to fix the toilet."

The toolbox is full of sludge. Drop it on the floor and let it ooze out. People won't stick around when there's poop on the floor.

Then plug in one of these wherever you've got a recently-emptied desk.

You can get five-headed bolts made, too. They look normal enough until you can't get a grip on them.

Actually, that's mostly true. Some regions of Canada use the most lightly-accented form of English.

I've been interviewed just for my voice to test my accent.

What's the domain in question?

And in GTAV when they force you to torture someone, the torturer (who is a fucked up sociopath) drives the victim to the airport and tells him along the way that torture is useless as an interrogation tool and the victim is going to escape the US and tell everyone about what happened.