Learing how to do it in the first place.

Now I will be able to e-mail Mountain Rescue when I get into difficulties. How do you operate an Android keyboard with frost-bitten fingers?

and don't let the door hit your arse on the way out.

'Merdouche'! V. good. :)

Quite right. I think the OP thinks that 'ironically' means 'predictably'.

I won't bother buying it then. I'll wait for it to come on TV. Which, extrapolating from the time it took to go from cinema to DVD, will be about three weeks.

I'll only start visiting Arstechnica again when someone writes a plugin that blocks all the happy-clappy Apple fanboi fluff articles. I remember someone called 'Cheng' being particularly bothersome ('Gee! NY Apple Store has just repainted its stockroom!!')

First they fucked up our fishing, then they fucked up our economy, now they're fucking up our air. I say we INVADE these unpronounceable herring-botherers.

Well clearly I do, as do many of my friends, but not everyone does. Someone's got to harvest the pig shit.

I thought you had to visit Montana if you wanted cowboys?

Don't forget that it's illegal to tip London cab drivers and you will mortally offend them if you try.

...and don't ask whether or not we have 'internet kiosks'. It's not the bloody Middle Ages here.

Sex will be wanking themselves off whilst watching webcams of each other.

"The device projects a narrow beam of extremely annoying sound..."

Ah, I was wondering what had happened to Daphne and Celeste.

Someone at LinuxFest had a girlfriend???