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Comment Gotta raise his Joel Test Scores, first (Score 5, Interesting) 182

If he can't deploy to production in one step, he needs to fix that first.

I'm not talking about from dev box to production. I'm talking about the physical act of someone running a single command (or for the Winlazy, pressing a button) then walking away. All code checkouts from source control, database changes, app server code deployments, web server restarts—whatever—happen without user intervention.

He should also be able to roll back in one step.

For all the meetings, forms, etc., it sounds like there is A LOT of CYA in that company. In that case, it is cultural and can only be changed from the top. Until/unless the company becomes less risk adverse, there is no point in trying to become more "agile" (i.e., risk-accepting) except making your job easier. Build your tools/scripts/whatever to make it easier to do stuff.

tl;dr: If you want a more nimble company, switch jobs.

Comment Absolutely! (Score 1) 1113

I know lots of athiests who are religious about their beliefs (or lack of beliefs, depending on how you want to slice it).

Atheists are religious the same same way "off" is a TV Station.

Sorry, but you are ignorant: you don't know what the word "religion" means. Now, if you were to say your atheist friends were "adamant," "aggrandized," "animated" or "galvanized," you would effuse the appearance of knowledge.

Comment DUH (Score 1) 398

Not really, as President he can't just throw on anything that might be in the closet.

Simple Solution: Garanimals for Presidents®

Ordering military action? Match up the Gorilla

Debating your political opponent? Go with the Orangutan

Vising a coal mine for a photo op? Try the Rhinoceros

Comment Sure we do (Score 1) 186

It took a BIG, and rather firm, kick in the ass to get them to pay attention. But that's not the way government is supposed to work. We aren't supposed to have to whip them to get them to actually work for us.

When there's a friggin 1,600 lb gorilla in the room with "Citizens United" tattooed on its chest, us little people have to whip that cream HARD and LONG before anything will happen.

Comment Re:Exactly as they want you to think (Score 1) 186

Renting a movie is much the same except that I don't know where to rent movies anymore. But if you do get a blue ray most players won't let you skip past the various warnings and even sometimes the trailers.

1. Rent from Red Box: $1.32/night.

2. Rip it to laptop

3. ???

4. WATCH IT WITH NO RESTRICTIONS!

Comment Simple (Score 3, Funny) 170

I'd bet if they wanted to hear the case, they would figure out some loophole to get past the bureaucratic BS,

Just tell Thomas, Scalia and Alito that they can't get their daily "newsletter of best-of images" culled from the scanners until they hear the case.

That sucker'll be fast-tracked so fast someone's robe will burst into flames.

Comment Actually, it isn't (Score 1) 362

(Disclaimer: I used to work for a large newspaper in the online advertising department)

The cost to advertisers for running a print ad depends upon a number of things (day-of-week, ad size, section, placement [above/below the fold], etc.), but also the perceived value. One of the numbers papers live and die by are the audited circulation numbers. This is what they then turn around and say to the advertisers: run a full-page in the A section on Sunday, and you'll get your ad in front of ___ (1,000s) of people!

Advertisers believed they were getting value for the money, and all was good. Until the interwebs did two things:

  1. 1. It allowed the advertisers know how many people actually "saw" their ad ("impressions") and
  2. 2. how many people clicked their ads

Suddenly, online advertising didn't look like such a great deal at all. And as the print circulation numbers went into their death-spiral, the papers had nowhere to turn. Their revenues from online aren't enough to keep just the online part running, let alone the rest of the deal.

Partially to blame is the calcified mentality that Print Is King and online is "for kids." The other thing is the executives refused to believe their business model was dead, that their news distribution model was dead (who wants to read yesterday's news today?) and their management style (top-down) was dead.

They thought the iPad would save them (that's why newspaper apps require a 'subscription' -- they're still in that mentality).

They look on with envy at Huffington Post (ugh) and Daily Beast (puke) -- two successful online "news" organizations that are doing what they can't: make sufficient money on line.

Basically, they're dead dinos. It will take nothing short of a complete reboot (i.e., fire everyone VP/General Manager or above) to get them going again, maybe.

Comment Re:Duh. well (Score 1) 86

Anyone who understands how security works would consider php's very existence on a server to be a security hole.

There, I fixed it for you. You're welcome.

Not so much PHP (although every function is broken in some way), but the fact that any n00b can pick it up and start "programming." Without a harsh feedback loop, poor coding practices become calcified and lead to the massive security holes you've observed.

The beauty and curse of PHP is that its default fail state is to act as if nothing bad happened. This keeps unskilled, sloppy n00bs from getting so discouraged with the "NO YOU CAN'T FARKING ASSUME null AND false ARE THE SAME THING, DUMMY!" error messages that they find Something Else To Do like become Energy Meter Readers or Sportscasters or Tiger Food.

That is why PHP sucks.

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