I finally got my new PC in. It's an HP P6-2330 and boy am I not happy to find that it uses UEFI with Windows 8 as a sentry keeping me from installing Linux. At least it's trying anyway. I'm going to document my efforts here to see if I can make Linux on this thing a reality.
Step 1. Get a beer.
Step 2. No, scratch that, get something stronger. This is going to hurt.
Step 3. From the articles I've read, you can't just boot a live CD like you normally would on a BIOS system. UEFI uses signed keys from Microsoft (can you say "lockout"?). So what some of the more frontier distros are doing is using their own MS compatible key (I guess, maybe it's an actual MS key or something) and doing some kind of "shim" action to get in there and boot GRUB 2. So we'll go with that. Your options so far are Fedora and Ubuntu, AFAIK. I'm hoping at least if I can get one of those on there, I can boot anything else. We'll see.
Step 4. I followed this Youtube video to disable Secure Boot and turn on Legacy BIOS: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ElzvaL96cw0
I'll lay out the steps here so you don't have to watch the video.
Step 4a. In Windows h8, go to the stupid corners of the screen for whatever reason they decided to make you do that
Step 4b. Click on Setttings
Step 4c. Click on Change My PC Settings
Step 4d. Click on General
Step 4e. Scroll down and under Advanced Startup, click Restart Now
Step 4f. This brings up more options, for whatever hairbrained reason. Click on Troubleshoot.
Step 4g. Click on Advanced Options
Step 4h. Click on UEFI Firmware Settings
Step 4i. Click on Restart
Step 4j. Scroll down to Computer Setup. This will bring up kind of a BIOS setup.
Step 4k. Now, the whole BIOS setup screen didn't fit in my monitor, so you need to hit the right arrow key twice to scroll over to the Security menu item. Then press the down arrow eight times to get the bottom item, "SECURE BOOT CONFIGURATION"
Step 4l. This brings up a big scary red screen of threat. Press f10 to continue
Step 4m. Now you're going to press right to enable Legacy support, down and left (or is it right? can't remember) to disable Secure Boot, and f10 to accept again.
Step 4n. Then press left a couple times to get to the first menu item, press down five times to save changes and exit and press enter
Step 4o. As a bonus, you might want to go to Advanced and edit your boot order. Notice how there's not option for Boot from CD/DVD, only Boot from USB CD/DVD, or Boot from USB Harddrive. The good ol' days are over, aren't they?
Step 5. Now we have to go download Ubuntu, so go do that.
Step 6. I assume you're already running some Linux distro somewhere and it's probably an APT system. Run this: sudo apt-get install usb-creator-kde . You'll need that for creating the bootable USB key. I also assume you're using at least a 2 GB USB key. If any of these things aren't true, go look elsewhere for help. This is a very narrowly scoped article.
Step 7. Fire that badboy up: $ usb-creator-kde (EDIT: actually, use $ sudo usb-creator-gtk)
Step 8. Click the Other button and go find your ISO. Select your USB drive and select Erase Disk and hope you're not erasing the wrong disk (you're probably not, but that fear will still be there - unplug the other one just to be safe). It's also going to look like it's sure doing nothing for a while. I guess. Ok, maybe not. The KDE one didn't work, so I installed the GTK one and launched that shit with sudo and it seems to finally be working. (See edit)
Step 9. That will take like, 5 minutes so go do a shot (I just did tequila, so you should too).
Step 10. Ok, looks like that's done.
Step 11. Plug that motherfucker into your new PC and do whatever it is Microsoft requires of you to restart it. It should now boot up with the "shim" bootloader and let you install Ubuntu right there. Go ahead. Do it. No, don't select that first option of trying before installing. Just jump in, balls first. Don't be a pussy. Then go take another shot.
Now, while Ubuntu is installing, I'm going to take this moment to mention that I've always been a Debian guy. I tried the BSDs, I tried SuSE, and probably a few others. But when I landed at Debian, I was in love. But the whole reason I'm at this point, where I have two new computers and I'm installing different operation systems is because the latest Debian update fucked my shit up royally. So, here we are. I have a Bodhi machine and in a few minutes, an Ubuntu machine. And if this works well on here, it'll be going on my ultrabook.
Before writing this article, I didn't even know what UETI was. I thought we were still on BIOS. I am becoming a dinosaur living in the past. Time to move me into the future. And I don't have to LIKE the future to want to understand it. I should never be the grumpy old man that just hates things because they're new. I should understand what they are and make an educated hatred about them!
A lot of this philosophical nonsense is stemming from a recent conversation with my mom which made me realize that she isn't very proud of me. Rather than recognizing all of my accomplishments, she chooses to focus on the things she doesn't understand (tattoos, hard drinking, rough sex, music festivals, concerts, week-long getaways) and uses that to basically talk down to me on just about every conversation we ever have. It's frustrating, considering I'm probably the most successful one of the family. Best/highest paying job, first with a 4 year degree, in the best shape, have the best looking significant other (who is also successful), and definitely the most traveled, having served in the Army for 9 years and being a veteran of two foreign wars. Not to say I'm looking down on them, I'm just kind of tired of not receiving any recognition for my accomplishments and always harping on my drinking. Look, I like to drink. I NEED to drink. Yes, I'm an alcoholic. But I am a happy drunk and I drink on my own time. Leave it be.
Anyway, sorry for that rant. This Ubuntu install is taking for friggin' ever.
Ok, we're booting up. Now I have to say, I got a little (lot) scared. I rebooted and got a black screen. I hard reset and got a boot loader. The first option didn't work. I think I picked some other one. I don't know, eventually I got to a real boot loader with Ubuntu as an option and BAM. Working. Peace out, Microsoft.
I'm going to try this on the ultrabook tomorrow night and if it works, I will post a tutorial here.
Time to set shit up, bitches! Peace!