BarbaraHudson's Journal: What a disaster!

We had a major disaster here last month - more than 5,000 families flooded out of their homes. A month later, there are still those who have not returned home, and for many, their houses are red-tagged, meaning they will not be allowed to return. More on how I'm helping in a bit, but first ...

I've got a new endocrinologist to handle HRT (hormone replacement therapy), and he's tripled my dose of estrogen, which has not only completely crushed the depression, but it's had a totally unexpected side effect.

Turns out that estrogen increases muscle mass and strength even if you don't exercise. The last month, I've been really pushing myself physically helping almost every day, and in one month I've gone from ordinary to stronger than I've ever been. Embarrassingly so. And stamina ... well, I just don't need to take a break, even though it's heavy labour. Never thought that helping at a food bank would be so much work, but then again, they never saw ~ 100 tons of donations come in in such a short period. That's a lot of unloading, sorting, boxing, storing or shipping out to where it's needed, on top of what others have been doing feeding the victims who were evacuated by the military and fire departments, etc 3 meals a day, meals for volunteers working the sand bag crews, several fund raisers, and all sorts of other activities.

Last night I was helping get set up for today; I spent today helping prepare food boxes for more than 700 people, doing the heavy lifting others couldn't do, and all the gross jobs that I do because I wouldn't ask anyone to do something I wouldn't do myself. And I'll be at it again tomorrow, the day after, and as long as it's needed. I love it!

Not too shabby considering that 6 months ago climbing the stairs left me dizzy and out of breath, but that's what you get when you're so depressed you spend most of 3 years unable to stay awake or trying to fight the temptation to kill yourself.

3 years of hell because my endocrinologist wasn't following standards, and LIED about my test results being "perfect." Saw my last results on the 1st, from my new endo, and they are where they should be, but that's not what makes me so happy. I'm finally able to do something productive again. And the work is a lot more meaningful and a lot more rewarding than writing software.

I've talked with the families who have lost everything. I've seen how people come in just hoping for a little assistance, and when Jo-Anne takes them up and down the aisles with jumbo shopping carts and trolleys and encourages them to take more - "Do you need some of this too? How about some $INSERT_ITEM as well?" It's up-selling but at the end there's no bill. They are so grateful and relieved - but we're just as grateful to be able to help them, and for the donors who make it possible. When people are entrusting you with so much that you literally run out of space on a regular basis, it really makes you want to live up to that trust. We're really pushing ourselves, but we're determined to continue to do what I can only say is an awesome job.

Aside from my eyes, I'm simply in the best physical shape I've ever been in. Even spending my birthday Saturday in the emergency ward to get some anti-inflammatory meds (I stripped the protective membrane off a few bones - guess I overdid it a wee little bit) didn't slow me down. Fixed my back, improved my posture, and I've chopped 12 minutes of my best time biking to the hospital. Well, okay, my neck and upper jaw (from the dentist exerting way too much force and breaking my upper jaw and then yanking the broken piece out through my gums) and my eyes (which was expected) are concerns. But they're far outweighed by all the good stuff.