karniv0re's Journal: Sick of Being With the Sick

This won't be a very tech-y post. I just need to vent. I thought, maybe, JUST MAYBE, the end of 2014 would be the end of all of our problems. But then 2015 comes along and it turns out, it is trying to one-up 2014. I'm talking about illness. My girlfriend has somehow, since 2014, went from being completely healthy, to being one of the most fragile people I have ever known.

Let's break down the numbers.

2014-01-02: Gastroenteritis - ER visit
2014-03-02: Tamarind allergy discovered - ER visit
2014-05-11: Sick (cold or something)
2014-06-01: Sick (cold or something)
2014-08-21: Tamarind allergy from Mexican food - ER visit
2014-08-22: Bad reaction to steroids from Tamarind allergy - ER visit
2014-08-24: Still having reactions from the steroids, mistook it for thyroid problems - ER visit
2014-11-20: Began having Meniere's episodes, though didn't know what it was
2014-11-21: Began having Meniere's episodes, though didn't know what it was
2014-11-22: Began having Meniere's episodes, though didn't know what it was
2014-11-23: Began having Meniere's episodes, though didn't know what it was
2014-11-24: Began having Meniere's episodes, though didn't know what it was
2014-11-25: Began having Meniere's episodes, though didn't know what it was
2014-11-26: Began having Meniere's episodes, though didn't know what it was
2014-11-27: Began having Meniere's episodes, though didn't know what it was
2014-11-28: Began having Meniere's episodes, though didn't know what it was
2014-11-29: Began having Meniere's episodes, though didn't know what it was
2015-02-12: Meniere's episode
2015-04-11: Meniere's episode
2015-05-08: TMJ
2015-05-15: Swollen lymph nodes
2015-05-16: Swollen lymph nodes
2015-05-17: Swollen lymph nodes
2015-05-18: Swollen lymph nodes - ER visit
2015-06-01: Cold
2015-06-11: Meniere's episode
2015-06-25: Meniere's episode
2015-07-05: Meniere's episode
2015-07-09: Meniere's episode
2015-07-18: Meniere's episode and stomach ache
2015-07-19: Stomach ache
2015-07-26: Meniere's episode
2015-07-31: Meniere's episode
2015-08-02: Meniere's episode
2015-08-03: Meniere's episode
2015-08-09: Meniere's episode
2015-08-12: Meniere's episode
2015-08-14: Meniere's episode
2015-08-18: Meniere's episode and cold
2015-09-11: Meniere's episode
2015-09-12: Meniere's episode
2015-09-13: Meniere's episode and stomach ache
2015-09-14: Stomach ache - ER visit
2015-09-20: Meniere's episode
2015-10-06: Meniere's episode
2015-10-11: Stomach ache
2015-10-12: Stomach ache
2015-10-13: Stomach ache
2015-10-14: Stomach ache
2015-10-15: Stomach ache

Those are just the days I documented. There are countless others where she just didn't feel good because of Meniere's or whatever, and times she didn't even tell me she wasn't feeling good. But from just those days alone, since January 1st, 2014, she has been ill 7.5% of the time (see, at least I'm including a little data science in here). That is a horrible batting average. That's averaging out to be almost a month of illness per year. I'd be stoked if I got that much vacation time! And it is terrible quality of life. And just when she was adjusting to the Meniere's and starting to figure out how to somewhat control it, she gets hit with this GI thing. Of course the doctor's don't want to even try to figure out what it might be. They just mumble something about IBS and walk out. Fuck our health care system. I think we should start calling it a "health don't-care" system. They only things they seem to be concerned with is passing out antibiotics, operating on people for things that could have been prevented in the first place, and fixing erectile dysfunction, which, God knows, is the world's biggest problem. For fuck's sake.

The stress this brings on me is causing me health problems too. My hair has thinned out a lot in the last 2 years (though, some of that can be blamed on my line of work), and a gigantic cold sore just reared its ugly head. And lord only knows what I'm doing to my liver to cope with the stress. I don't know what I need. I briefly fantasized about buying a one-way plane ticket to the Virgin Islands and just disappearing. Why there? I dunno, first place I thought of that was far away and didn't need a Visa. Maybe I could be homeless for a while. Start with some manual labor, working my way up to owning my own business, and bang lots of tourists. And then the cold reality of my life slaps that fantasy out of my head. Plus, it would just make her life harder, and I would never want that. She deserves so much better than what she is getting.

I don't know what to do at this point. I'm running out of positive affirmations. For myself included.

Sorry for the personal garbage. I thought it might feel good to just get out in words, but I'm not sure if it is helping or just confirming what I already thought. Anyway. Off to a stupid meeting where more people will probably just piss me off.