bettiwettiwoo's Journal: 5 ... Things to Do When Your Divorced Is Finally Finalized

1. Kiss your assets goodbye.
2. Get drunk.
3. Listen to Louise Hoffsten's Dance on Your Grave on 11:
   My father told me, I've seen the type before:
   He's never satisfied 'til he has all and more.
   My father told me to stay away from you
   Before you wash my brain and twist my point of view.

   I guess I didn't clean my ears that morning;
   I really put all my trust in you.

   Chorus:
   I'm gonna dance on your grave one day,
   Play the maracas and sing olé.
   Dance on your grave one day.
   I'm gonna dance on your grave one day,
   Invite all my friends for a cabaret
   Dance on your grave one day
   I'll have a ball ... when you're gone!

4. Try to ensure you'll do better next time.
5. Go home and turn ALL the lights on.

If congratulations are in order...

[johndiii]

Then congratulations! It sounds like you are in pretty good shape. Should we ever be in the same city, I would be pleased to buy you a drink or three. :-)

I particularly like that last one...

Re:

[Red Warrior]

The same as he said.

Speaking of which, I'm sad I missed that series of your JEs John.

Re:

[bettiwettiwoo]

No, I am sorry: I should have pointed out that I'm not getting divorced. At all.

I just read about Larry David turning all the lights on in his house after divorcing his very green wife and I thought about the things one do after getting divorced and made it into a 5-point list.

Nevertheless: thanks for the concern!

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[bettiwettiwoo]

Oh, no no no, I am actually not getting divorced at all: we just celebrated our 10th anniversary and are actually happier than ever.

I just happened to read about Larry David getting divorced and since his eco-crazed wife was no longer around, he decided to leave all the lights on his house, which I thought was hysterically funny ... and then I started thinking about what I did when I got divorced (from husband 1) and what I did then and then I remembered your 'divorce' series and voilá there were 5 thi

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[johndiii]

Well, congratulations are in fact in order. :-) I remembered that you were in a much better place now, but I did not recall the time frame and I did not know how long divorce takes where you are (Australia, though I don't remember the city, if you ever mentioned it).

I loved the Larry David item. There were a couple of equally symbolic things that I did when my divorce was final.

I really ought to finish that series, but I just do not have the time. Or, rather, there are things that I choose to do instead,

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[bettiwettiwoo]

I'm in Sydney, but got divorced in Sweden (from Swedish husband). Swedish divorce is more or less immediate unless there are children in which case there's a quarantine/think-it-through period of some description (they might have changed it since I emigrated; it used to be 6 months).

Here in Australia, a divorce is finalized upon application 12 months (at the earliest) after the original application was lodged and after mandatory marriage counselling, irrespective of any children. (I actually think the manda

Time to update your post?

[tomhudson]

Maybe you should update it to say "... no, this isn't about me ..."

10 great things about divorce:

1. Buy any darned pet you want;
2. Reading in bed no longer gets you the "what, the book is more interesting than me?" look (and the reply - "do you want me to be honest or nice?");
3. You're allowed to have more than one friend of the opposite sex;
4. Speaking of which, you'll now know which are "your" friends, and which were "theirs";
5. That 5 pounds you want to lose - a lot easier when you're not cooking for someone e

Re:

[bettiwettiwoo]

Yes, I thought about updating when I saw johndii and RedWarrior's posts, but then I answered their posts and thought that update enough: if people care enough about whether or not I'm getting divorced, they probably care enough to click through to the comments ...

Since my divorce I constantly leave my shoes where-ever I take them off. This was, according to ex-husband, a major character flaw and fully deserving capital punishment. Or, in other words, 10 years later I'm still celebrating.

Speaking of which, y

What I did

[DisownedSky]

I got married again. Three weeks later. It had something to do with sonograms....

Re:

[bettiwettiwoo]

Gosh, that was very quick. I wasn't particularly a slouch myself (6 months; no sonograms), but you probably beat most divorcées hands down.