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Journal TrollBack's Journal: Halloween TrollBack! 7

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Yes, autumn is in the air. Amber trees, dark skies, and chilly rock hard nipples are on us like Anna Nicole - uninvited and unstoppable. The more things change, the more the change at Slashdot remains the same, and it's our job to celebrate the unstoppable twit parade. So put down the knives, take off the hockey mask and stop playing 'American Pie' with that pumpkin, because it's time for Halloween Trollback.

_/\_
<w\\
/)~\
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`~~`>>~~~`===.,,,,,.''' ' '

(Direct Replies / Total Replies / Moderations / Voodoo Factor)

(20/214/10 /76.80) TTR takes the cake by trying to spike the ball on Buy Nothing Day. Go for 2!
(21/101/23 /68.40) The absent minded professor forgets the rights of the handicapped.
(26/ 71/18 /63.40) Scottish girls like it slow and quiet.
(18/147/ 7 /58.00) AOL Keyword: Strip Motherfucker
(24/ 98/ 8 /56.40) SKO explains why Carrot Top glows in the dark.
(13/148/ 8 /53.20) SKO proves that your average Slashdot consumer doesn't understand clock speed.
(21/ 50/13 /48.20) Rock n' Roll will never die, but PDA's already have
(16/104/ 8 /48.00) Kelly dons her tin foil hat and ladels out voting advice.
(21/ 39/13 /46.00) Physicsgenius teaches how to float a boat by motioning the ocean.
(24/ 36/ 9 /45.00) SKO deserves a medal for this Informative mirror.
(17/ 42/12 /40.80) gnillort proves that violent computer gamers are easily annoyed. Shocking.
(18/ 37/ 9 /38.00) GPS gets a precise fix on flying pigs.
( 8/ 12/23 /35.00) Tune in, turn on, drop acid. Post.
( 9/ 64/ 9 /32.60) GPS throws pie at Mac users. Result: predictable.
(13/ 48/ 7 /32.20) TPS the 12th explains why open sores are bad. Fails to convince /bots.
(10/ 41/12 /32.20) PG pushes the subtlety envelope with inspirational hand waving.
(16/ 45/ 4 /32.20) gnillort bursts the Office bubble; soap covered /bots attack.
(13/ 23/11 /31.20) Hairy Potter introduces /. to the Laws of Thermodynamics. Entropy skyrockets.
(12/ 22/12 /30.80) SKO lobs a grenade at the Euros. /bots pull pin and start to argue.
(10/ 15/15 /30.00) TPS PSA... SNAFU!
(17/ 26/ 4 /29.60) TP-s12 the robotroll grinds one out. Stallbots panic.
( 9/ 59/ 7 /29.60) HP warns Mac users about contamination. Message lost in the noise.
(17/ 19/ 5 /29.20) HP takes one last stab at Mac users by disproving Godwin's law with authority.

What is the EFF-PEE?

Are first posts a good thing or a bad thing? I'm sure that our dear readers have their own answer, but getting CmdrTaco's take on the issue is more complicated. Slashdot's old sql datadump file used to start out by dumping the first comment into your Slash setup entitled 'First Post!' which went on to warn that 'there will be a bunch of faceless anonymous morons who will attack you for no reason' - in short, a typical First Post troll. The exact same file went on to text filter the phrase 'First Post' out of our subject lines, meaning that only Taco's troll was allowed, and giving birth to such explosively creative catchphrases as 'Frost Pist' and 'Eff Pee'. The filter against 'First Post' has been removed, but the automatic First Posting remains unedited. I guess the answer is that it depends who's doing the FP'ing.

And as we've been told before, there's nothing worse in the world than a post marked +5 Funny. Now it seems that the ultimate Bad Thing is a +5 Funny AC post... Which leads us to the question: Just how terrible is it when someone AC posts a 'First Post!' which unlike CmdrTaco's automated FP is actually funny? The answer appears to be that if this happens enough, these posts will be capped at a max score of +4.

With this in mind, we'd like to take this moment to salute the following first posters for their contributions toward yet another arbitrary, nonsensical, gratuitous gatekeeper - without byzantine rules like this, there'd be nothing fun to do here!

Moderation is not broken!

We'd like to take a moment to salute one of our trolls for managing to achieve for the briefest of moments the highly elusive Score:5 Troll. Truly a Slashdot Icon.

ASCII Art is exclusively destructive.

Five years of intense research have so far failed to yield a regular expression which will prevent ASCII art. ASCII doesn't troll people, trolls do... but as long as ASCII art is outlawed, only outlaws will have ASCII art! We'll keep you posted in case a solution is found.

As always feedback is welcome. Have a happy Halloween, and keep the trolls coming.

_/_
/~,~\
\\_//
- The TrollBack Team (trollback 'at' Ziplip.com)

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Halloween TrollBack!

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