Journal blinder's Journal: a few questions 9
we've been pinned down / i just shot my last round / i want to run and hide / it just might save our lives
ever just feel powerless to change something you know you need to change? ever felt scared because of that realization? and then felt that it didn't actually matter that you are scared or sad because feeling scared or sad doesn't change anything, and things do need to change?
and that everything you do do doesn't actually amount to much of anything because all that stuff isn't what actually needed to be taken care of (or are just incredibly low on the list of priorities as to not be terribly important)?
have you ever known stuff like this, right there in the quiet back part of your mind that is really easy to ignore, and then when you do have a "realization" you realize the reality of it is that you knew it all along? and then that just makes you feel even more embarrassed, humiliated and scared? and even after that realize that it doesn't actually matter that you are embarrassed, humiliated or scared because that isn't doing *anything* but making it worse?
ever feel like big chunks of your life is filled with ways of avoiding taking care of real problems? ever get exhausted because of that? ever feel that a huge portion of your identity will crumble if you do? ever get afraid that if you start taking care of things the humiliation and fear of being judged will just paralyze you?
Definitely (Score:1)
Yeah. But I learned some things. (Score:2)
The past is unalterable. The measure of a person is how one shapes one's future.
Yes. (Score:2)
However...
Every day, I spend time dealing with my wife, my children, my parents, my finances, and my job. When none of these is directly impinging on my mind, which is less than an hour in any given day, I choose to relax, and more often then not, read.
I do not choose to deal with my weight. There is simply too many other things to worry about. At least that's my excuse. Like
Yes. (Score:1)
considering I don't feel... (Score:2)
/
//Rude Bwoys cannot feel...
yes (Score:2)
What you're feeling is normal and healthy.
There are 2 separate issues you're describing, how you feel and what you need to do.
Both are important. And all of the other stuff you do is important. But balance is even more important, which is why no one thing gets to be most important all the time.
Not even getting things done.
Flexibility happens when you have a structure that can bend a little in each direction.
i'm sorry you're feeling overwhlemed.
I know where you are... (Score:1)
Your questions cover at LEAST 34 years of my life.
Absolutely (Score:1)
^_^
Re:Absolutely (Score:1)
So does the journey to the refrigerator or on the plank that pirates use.
As to your questions Blinder: yes on most counts, I haven't really thought about it to the rest. I hope things work out.