[Movies] I take 'em on FOUR at a time BABY

Journal bethanie's Journal: [Movies] I take 'em on FOUR at a time BABY 12

Journal by bethanie on Sunday July 30, 2006 @04:11AM

Since I last did a movie review JE, I actually got *so* desperate from the throttling that I visited my local video store. It helps that it's just 3 stores down from my coffee shop, and sometimes when I'm hanging out there on a Saturday, I will cross paths with Nicky the Video Store Guy.

Nicky the Video Store Guy is nice enough. But when I went in the first time and set up an account, when he got a look at my driver's license, he exclaimed, "WOW! I had *no* idea you were THAT much older than me!!!" Which, ya know, is *always* a great way to make a woman feel good.

I really don't know what the big deal is. This kid is 25, and I'm not even 34 yet. When I was his age, I was dating people from 2 to 20 years older than I. And it wasn't any big deal. Really.

In any case, it cost me $8 to rent 4 movies for a week. I checked out what the 4-at-a-time upgrade from Netflix would cost me -- just $6 more. So if I can manage to get an additional 4 movies a month, the upgrade will have paid for itself. I'll have to keep track of whether or not I actually *get* an additional 4 movies a month because Netflix throttles me pretty hard. But so far (after a couple of weeks), so good.

I do loves mah mooovies.

Grey's Anatomy: Season 1: Disc 1
I have heard so much buzz about this show -- seems like it's on everyone's "must watch" list. Of course, I am so out of things I don't even know what night or time it's on. Then again, I have a Netflix subscription so I don't *have* to know these things. The show itself is cute and mildly entertaining. Plenty of eye candy and romance and enough gore to keep it interesting for the guys watching. But it's typical Burbank pap -- Ally McBeal meets ER -- totally formulaic. First season and already there have been tumors and clots galore. Anorexically thin chick starring in the title role (think Lara Flynn Boyle lookalike), complete with "insightful" "thematic" voiceover commentary at the beginning, end, and at key points in the episode (a la Carrie Bradshaw). What's particularly depressing about watching TV shows like this is that EVERYone has a sex life. That's why it's so NOT real. The three chicks are all fantastic looking but sit around eating cookies and candy bars on their breaks, never seem to actually *exercise*, and of course, within 3 episodes they're either getting their rocks off regularly or there are at least men in hot pursuit wanting to assist them to that end. Don't know if I'll be watching another season of this. I'll have to be in the mood for something mediocre but pretty. Three stars.

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang
I never even heard about this one. Did it get released straight to video? Well, in any case, it's fun and it's smart and it's fresh. Superbly performed by Val Kilmer (OMG is he zany or WHAT?) and Robert Downey Jr. and some chick who I gather (from the commentary) went on to star in MI3 with Tom Cruise. Fun whodunnit fast-paced kinda flick, with a touch of that Ferris Bueller self-consciousness thrown in for good measure. Highly enjoyable. Four stars.

Ali G Indahouse
I hadn't even realized that Cohen had made an Ali G movie until it came up in my Netflix recommendations (I guess because I watch so many other HBO shows). In any case, I bit (against my typical judgment -- I don't usually go for "silly" comedies) and was quite pleasantly surprised. Of course, it's ridiculous and over the top. But the storyline actually makes sense in its own universe and holds up throughout the length of the movie, which is more than I can say for SO many other films I've seen come out of the Hollywood machine. They get to the 3rd act and just completely fall apart -- no idea of how to get to the end, AN end, ANY end... In any case, Ali G gets 3.5 stars -- and I'll watch his next movie coming out, too.

Kids
This one has been on my list to watch since it came out over 10 years ago, and the same guy has that Latino skateboarder movie out this summer, so I decided it was time. I heard it was gritty and disturbing, and it didn't disappoint. I don't take it terribly seriously or personally, but it certainly was... uncomfortable... watching such *young* people act out these scenes. If you enjoy being disturbed and discomforted by movies (and I do, quite often), then I can recommend this one. Three stars.

Sidewalks of New York
Boy, does THIS movie want to be a Woody Allen flick. I really kinda liked Ed Burns' early stuff, and I never really noticed the Woody Allen thing before this. But this film and Anything Else are *really* similar in pacing and subject matter. At least, that's the way it lays out in my memory. I could be mistaken. In any case, it's a cute flick, good for date night. Stanley Tucci is a *wonderful* schmuck. Three stars.

A Good Woman
Ack. WHY oh WHY do I do this to myself? Why do I put movies on my queue based on the trailers I see as previews on other movies I've rented? OK... so it's got Scarlett Johansson, and really, who *doesn't* have a thing for Scarlett Johansson? (Mmm... me and Scarlett and Natalie... in hot grits... mmmm......) And Tom Wilkinson stole every scene he was in. And of course, you'd *think* that it would be impossible to go wrong with Oscar Wilde (gotta love the guy for the catchy soundbite!). But OMG... Helen Hunt CANNOT act. She got an Oscar because she happened to get the perfect role for her flat affect and that ONE way she has of pronouncing EVERY sentence she speaks. I think she figures that if it got her an Oscar once, maybe she could get lucky again. But I don't see it happening. Bless her heart. This movie was a hack job. Very disappointing. One and a half stars.

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly
Yes, I will admit it -- I had NEVER seen this movie before. I simply stashed it away in that "Western" category, labeled it "Do Not Like" and that was that. But I've been pushing my envelope recently, wanting to expand my horizons. So I went ahead and added it to my queue and bumped it to the top before I could back down. And boy... what an experience. I absolutely *loved* this film. I love how every shot in every scene is composed so perfectly. Even in simple shots of a rider on horseback traveling down a road, it's a work of art. Frames within frames everywhere -- Leone was *so* conscious of everything within sight of his camera. It's very stylized, but I *like* the style. He exploits the extreme close-up so well, and dispenses with dialogue and exposition where his actors' faces can tell the story. This is one that I would like to have in my collection, so that I can see it more times. I'm sure I will see new things with every viewing. Five stars.

The Wedding Crashers
I thought this looked like a bad movie, and was just going to skip it altogether, but I think someone here recommended it to me. Going on good faith, I went ahead with it -- but I wish I hadn't. It was a good idea for a sketch or something, but it just doesn't hold together as a premise for an *entire* movie. And I have to admit, Vince Vaughn is pretty much played out. It was cute in Swingers, but how many times is the guy gonna hit the "slightly unhinged and so superlatively obnoxious that you can't quite believe he just said that" note? Oh wait... Christopher Walken's been playing the same character for what... 25, 30 years now? The thing is, when he shows up and does his schtick, it's usually pretty damn good. Sadly enough, he doesn't do it for this movie, either. One... and a half star. To be generous.

The 40-Year-Old Virgin
On the OTHER hand, here's a movie that SEEMED like it was going to be sheer silliness that was *really* well done. I can't think of anything weak about this film. The characters were actually genuine. The comedy was hilarious. The premise, while souped up a little for entertainment value, was NOT completely outside the realm of possibility. And the story *did* hold up well throughout the whole thing. All in all, an exemplary comedic experience. Four and a half stars.

Cake
Another one rented on the basis of its trailer, and because of the convenience of seeing it on the shelf at the video store. Oh, and because I like Sandra Oh. (That's also why I broke down and bumped Grey's Anatomy to the top.) Her role in this film is miniscule, doesn't give her a chance to shine. Otherwise, the movie is pretty much in love with itself and in love with "Pippa," the Heather Graham character. I'd say that generally, this film is WAY overloaded with estrogen and *dares* not question itself or its neofeminist thinking, or else it might disintegrate into a little poof of scented powder. But oh my, David Sutcliffe and Taye Diggs *are* positively scrumptious. A little bit of man candy goes a long way towards redemption in my book these days. Three stars.

Eros
This one from the video store, too -- from the "new movie" section. But not before I noticed that the "Erotica" section was *right* next to (like, shares the same corner as) the "Inspirational" section (i.e., the Jesus movies). Personally, I think that's a *brilliant* stratergy in these parts. Lets guys go over and check out the movies that they *really* want to see, but if their wives or someone they know happens to catch a glimpse of them, it takes just a slight movement and POOF! they're being godly and faithful men. It works for me. I complimented Nicky on the layout, too. In any case, I thought this movie was going to have some sexy little vignettes in it... for a little "escapism" of my own. But it didn't really. I didn't think it was nearly as much about erotic themes as it was about getting three highly acclaimed directors together in one compendium and seeing what kind of money they could make. Maybe that's my cynicism talking -- or maybe I just need a good, thorough schtuppin. Probably a healthy dose of both. Not bad, but not what I was expecting. Three stars.

My Dinner with Andre
Another one I had never seen before, but felt like I really needed to, just because it's one of those canonized films that you *need* to see in order to be literate in the genre. Well, it was pretty much as I had expected it would be. A movie that is really just two guys sitting and talking to each other about, like, way far out trippy experiences and shit. Well, I can check it off the list, at least. Two and a half stars.

8 1/2
I first saw this film my freshman year in college, for a Film and Literature colloquium I was taking. It was my favorite film of the class, and since then I've seen it several times more -- and loved it every time. I love the pace of it, I love the quirkiness of it, I love the unapologetic chauvinism of it -- to me, it is a perfect expression of one man's appreciation of the women in his life. And I just love the sense of humor. And the layers of consciousness (the director directing the actor playing a director making a film viewing screen tests of other actors playing the parts of real people in the [original] director's life... Phew. When pot gets legalized, this is one of the first movies I'm gonna get baked and watch over again!) This one is high on my list of all-time favorite films, and I'd love to add it to my library. Five stars.

Syriana
This one is billed as "thought-provoking and enlightening," but to me it was just another cynical pseudo-expose of the corruption inherent in our sociopolitical system. I didn't find anything terribly shocking or even disturbing about it -- not in the sense of "OMG! SOMEbody needs to do SOMEthing!!" It's the system. It's the way it works. It's broken -- so what are we gonna do about it? The movie, as a movie, wasn't so bad in and of itself. Three stars.

The Jackal
OK, here's the deal. I am SUCH a Jack Black fan that I actually WATCHED this *entire* movie just for his tiny little part. So there. As for the rest of it -- dude, how implausible can you get with a plot? The whole thing is completely unbelievable, and I'm sorry, but that generally puts a damper on my enjoyment of a movie, unless it's really not *meant* to be plausible. For a WAY better assassination plot that MUST be stopped, watch In the Line of Fire; at least Clint Eastwood's in that one. One and a half stars for this stinker.

Traffic
WOW. Now THIS is what storytelling CAN be with this medium. What a *riveting* movie! I was completely enthralled, on the edge of my seat, every damn minute. Steven Soderbergh qualifies himself as a genius with this film, as far as I'm concerned. It's just a great way to tell a story (even though he takes some liberties and imposes his own political will on the resolution of the plot). And personally, I loved that so much of the movie was in Spanish. I must also mention that Jacob Vargas is my ideal man. I have had a [insert favorite body part here]-wrenching crush on him since I was 20 years old and saw him in Gas Food Lodging (God, what wouldn't I have given to have been Fairuza Balk!!). And he hasn't lost a bit of his allure in all these years. Four and a half stars.

Memron
In the spirit of improvisational mockumentaries (a la Christopher Guest), this one tries to be funny about a group of ex-Enron employees (except they call the company "Memron"). It just doesn't work for me. The parts that are supposed to be funny are just painful because they're trying so hard. It's generally a pretty good genre, statistically speaking. But this one falls flat. Two stars.

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