dubiousdave's Journal: I love my job. I love my job.

In our last episode of As the Dave Bitches, our protagonist had a meeting with his boss in which she complained that he made her feel that he wasn't doing a good enough job, but couldn't come up with any examples of poor performance. The homework for both was to go back through all of the support email from the past couple of months to come up with examples. Dave dutifully re-read all of it...

The mind-boggling assininity of real soap operas has crept into my parody, and I can't stand to go on with it.

... so I went back through the mail to see what she might have been talking about, found a few possibilites and brought them up, but she'd dismissed them because she knew the people in question are whackjobs. She, on the other hand, either didn't bother or couldn't find any facts to back up her feelings. She's still convinced that her feeling is right, and I'm not doing a good enough job. I think she and I agreed that part of the problem is that I'm not obsessive and temperamental enough, and that part of the problem is that she didn't realize all of the things I'm doing, and that I'm doing them for some of the bitchiest people in the department.

Another related thing that came up and pissed me off. When I was hired, she was concerned about hiring me for the position that was available because it didn't have the senior title that many of my coworkers had, and I easily had the resume for a senior position. She said that after a couple of years, she could probably justify promoting me to senior. Sounded good. I was just happy to get a job before I lost my house. Last year at my performance review I asked if I was still on track for that promotion and she assured me that I was, but that it would take another year or so to justify it. During this meeting we talked about the possibility of promotion again, and now it seems that I need to perform at Superior for a few years in order to get it. I'm pretty sure I was just Very Good last year, and she said in this meeting that while she's not satisfied with my performance, I'm Good to Very Good now. I guess next year it will take five years of Godlike to justify it. Not to mention the fact that, WTF?, I'm in trouble for having merely Good to Very Good performance. She called a special meeting to discuss the problem.

Maybe this is the key. Maybe instead of just doing my job, I need to be a drama queen and get all pissy whenever someone does something, or fails to do something, that inconveniences me or makes me feel that it should have been done some other way. Maybe if I do that, she'll feel like I'm putting in a Superior performance. Maybe I should just remember that it's a government job and that while no matter what I do, I'm not going to be rewarded, I *do* have a job for life, and I won't have to worry about being able to buy groceries (at least not until near the end of the month) and just shut the fuck up.

It's not that I can't take criticism. It's just that I'd like to have some fucking chance of understanding it when I get it. If I get some semi-coherent criticism, I'll let you know if I can take it. Maybe I can't, but so far there's no danger of finding out.

*click* *click* There's no place like academia. There's no place like academia...

Anyway, *whine* *whine* *bitch* *bitch*, poor me.

On the positive side, I bowled pretty well today, and we won both games. I was about 10 points above average in the first game and about 30 points above in the second. He was a little below his average in both games, and our opponents were both below theirs.

I'm going to get another beer and go kill some stuff.

I f you want to move to ATL...

[TechnoLust]

I could get you a job. :-)

Re:I f you want to move to ATL...

[blinder]

leave *austin* tx for atlanta?

atlanta, um, is a strip mall hell hole (this is my opinion learned from much time spent there) while austin, is more like a bigger boston with better weather. it has culture, a music scene and well, its austin!

dave, sounds like your boss may be a classic passive aggressive and you are probably a force of some discomfort in her life (she hasn't got, but wants the zen-like attitude in which you exude... so she's probably projecting).

anyway... just keep your head down, keep doing

Re:I f you want to move to ATL...

[TechnoLust]

I liked Austin, but it's no Atlanta. This city was MADE for me. But I'm probably looking for different things than you. And Atlanta has a GREAT music scene. (Not even counting the obvious Hip-hop music scene. Hell, Ludacris is here!!!)

Perception is reality

[91Aggie]

Unfortunately, unless you have a really good boss, their perception is going to be reality. You can bang your head against the wall yelling that it should not be this way, and stay stuck where you are, or you can adapt to it. Try to find out from your boss why she thinks you are not doing a good job... try to get her to be as honest as possible. Tell her that you are dedicated to improving, but you need to know what you are doing wrong. Listen to what she says, and even if it is complete bullshit, work