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tomhudson's Journal: In the spirit of "What goes around, comes around ..." 11

Journal by tomhudson

In the spirit of "What goes around, comes around ..."

It turns out that Charlie Sheen was testing RMS's GNU/Reality Distortion Field. Turns out its effect only extends to your outermost layer of dirt.

RMS: Knock knock
Who's there.
RMS: RMS.
Remember how you said "I'm not glad he's dead but I'm glad he's gone?"
RMS: Yes.
You'll be happy to know we're easier to please.

Remember: An Apple a day keeps RMS away. So does a bar of soap.

RMS wants people to standardize on something he calls GNU/C-Minus-Minus. It's a new language modeled after him - absolutely no class, totally self-referential, doesn't do anything useful and the output is out of date and confused.

To raise funds, RMS has a new line of time-saving clothing coming out. Never needs washing because it's pre-stained.

RMS also has new cologne and perfume lines coming out that he hopes will solve the "problem" of women breeding. You too can support free software and smell like New Jersey.

RMS is introducing his new shampoo brand - 100% chemical free, same formula he's been using for decades. Most people already know it by its' generic equivalent - "tap water."

A couple pretended that nobody was home when the doorbell rang. Later, they were relieved to find out that it wasn't RMS, just an Insurance Salesman, two members of a Cult, and 3 Politicians looking for votes.

Q. What time is it when RMS sleeps over on your couch?
A. Time to get a new couch and check the dog for fleas.

RMS has proposed a new freedom for those who carry around a perceptible layer of flora and fauna - "Freedom to be your own protected ecosystem." He wants the right to claim subsidies for "Dirt farming." In the last 3 month's he's managed to produce 270 pounds of dirt ... and who knows how much bull-crap.

RMS is looking into being the new CEO of Microsoft. He figures fewer people will hate him, they're already used to seeing their CEO with sweat stains down his pits, and it's not like he's not used to being irrelevant.

RMS was offered a free Apple by a woman who was helping out at a conference. After being lectured for 20 minutes on how she was too stupid to understand how her walled garden trapped her, she finally got a word in edge-wise. "So take the d*** Fruit Salad."

RMS really hates it when people tell him "They're called iMacs" when he brings up EMACS. Which is why people say it.

RMS has been invited to speak at the 2012 San Francisco Penguicon at the Hilton. Everyone else will, of course, be meeting at the Hyatt in Dearborn, Michigan.

RMS claims to have invented a free crowd-source talking clock. He bangs a garbage can lid repeatedly until someone shouts "Hey, knock it off you idiot, it's 2 AM!" and now everyone within earshot knows what time it is.

RMS is threatening KFC over his intellectual property. He's claiming he's the embodiment of prior art for "It's finger-licking good." Not just for the skin. Hair, nose, foot-cheese ...

RMS is asking police to investigate a murder attempt. Someone slipped Odor-Eaters into his sandals.

Q. Why does RMS hate Java?
A. He thinks the garbage collector has it in for him.

Source for the next one
Q:....Surprised to find out that most of the time you don't access the web directly but rather through an email daemon. Why such caution?
RMS: I do this mostly for personal reasons that don't apply to anyone else.
jeremybub: Non-free porn!
kikaerter: I would guess that it's related to his severe RSI somehow.
... etc ...

Someone should tell RMS that running make clean isn't doing it for him.

Friday nights RMS runs "date | more", but of course the symlink resolves to "date | less".

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In the spirit of "What goes around, comes around ..."

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  • Seriously, what is any of this supposed to accomplish, besides demonstrate that you can be just as rude and offensive as you're upset at RMS for being?

    • by tomhudson (43916)

      Au contraire, I think it's time to inject some levity into the situation. I simply cannot take someone like that seriously, and he really does have it coming - as do all the pompous gasbags who think that he's the best thing since sliced bread.

      If you look around the web, there are plenty of people who are upset - so to introduce at least a bit of balance into the world, someone's got to do it :-)

      Besides, I didn't include the "Q. Why doesn't RMS use Kleenex? A. Because it's finger-licking good!" one. A

    • by gmhowell (26755)

      One big difference is that some people pay attention to RMS. Most people ignore or don't even know about Barbara.

      • Damn! Was that a shot?

        • by gmhowell (26755)

          No. It was just stating a fact that I'm sure Barbara is already well aware of: her soapbox is MUCH smaller than Stallman's. Heck, I wish she had a better one. It would certainly be nice to have a grownup on stage. Instead we get ESR, RMS, and a cavalcade of supporting whackadoos.

          • Yes, well, I think everybody's taking all this all too seriously. I believe you noted the same. Just before I saw your comment, I said something kind of similar [slashdot.org] about not getting sufficient attention. This kind of silliness crosses all professions, and I figure I'll milk it for all its worth. Everybody wants their 15 minutes...

          • by tomhudson (43916)

            Hey, at least I *know* there are no videos of me eating "foot cheese" out there, because I've never done that. Being "famous" for being the #1 nutjob in open source (oops, forgot, he hates that term! ... oh well, on second thought, all the better) is not something most people would aspire to.

            There's both room and a need for both open and closed software. Demonizing people because they sell something others want is just stupid.

            Then again, he's never worked in the real world since he dropped out, so wh

            • by gmhowell (26755)

              Hey, at least I *know* there are no videos of me eating "foot cheese" out there, because I've never done that.

              Yeah, but I'm sure you've had poutine at least once in your life.

              • by tomhudson (43916)
                Definitely - and poutine, when made right, is awesome. When not made right, it's as gross as it sounds.
  • Did you dislike him this much before Jobs died, or is this new? I don't recall seeing you write anything negative about him before now - though I wasn't looking specifically for it before and may have missed it.
    • by tomhudson (43916)

      I used to defend him. Then, 2 months ago, the FSF did their FUD against linux and android. That got me to start looking at what they actually do, as opposed to what people think they do. In the process, I learned a LOT about his attitudes and behavior towards women, children, family life, and anyone or anything else he doesn't like, as well as how he purposefully cultivates the image of someone who is just socially inept so he can get away with being rude (the truth is there for anyone caring to go over

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