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sm62704's Journal: Black History Month 5

Journal by sm62704

Today is "Super Tuesday". Now, those of you who don't live in the US probably don't have a clue what's so damned super about super Tuesday, and from what I hear from the folks at Farley's who walked in from next door, those gays don't know what's so "super" about it either.

Ironically February is "Black History Month". What's ironic is that a man who Jewish law says isn't black may be the first black man ever nominated by a wing of our major political party...

Ok I'll explain. The USSR's Communist Party had various factions, ours only has two, the Republicans and Democrats. There were more differences between the various factions of the Communists' party than there is between the two factions of our "two party party". Don't believe me? Well, which party wants pot legalized? Not the "pro-choice" Democrats or the "Freedom loving" Republicans. Which overwhelmingly voted against bankrupcy reform? Not the "Conservative" Republicans, who are usually against re-forming anything. The conservatives want to conserve, that's why they're called conservatives. Not Barrack Obama, and not Hillary Clinton. In fact, right now it looks like our nex President will be someone who is now a Senator and all of the candidates who have any chance at all of winning voted for bankrupcy reform.

Think about that when you become homeless after a medical emergency drains your bank, costs you your job, you are forced into bankrupcy and thrown, with your family, into the street, unlike any other time in the last 100 years.

I digress (but if you're a mcgrew regular you knew I would). Jewish law says if you mother's not Jewish, neither are you. Obama's momma is white. And his dad is a foreigner. Or as they say across the river in Missouri, furriner.

One fellow commented in that thread that if your ancestors weren't slaves you're not black. So I guess all the Jewish people and Muslims, being descended from Moses, who freed the slaves from the Egyptians, are black?

You guys confuse me. Damn, I think I'm getting alsheimsr's. Either that or I've been smoking too much pot. Or maybe one of those damned east side dealers I buy my shit from has been spiking it with crack. And I'm pissed; someone smoked half that fucking article, specifically the part that says "Why you be lookin' up crack when you can smoke it?" as well as the section on "fun assed shit to do on crack".

So anyway, yesterday I was in a really bad mood (actually I'm writing this yesterday and I'm still in a bad mood but I'm getting out of it. How is it yesterday? I'm not sure, but as I type it's Monday but if you look at the date at the top of this thing it's SOOOOPER two's day. Maybe they call it Super Tuesday because they're gay? Or because yesterday (oops, day before yesterday) was the super bowl? And was that gay, or what?

I think I'm confused. So I guess I'll go vote.

I got nailed for making a comment that black people are voting for Obama because of the color of his skin, and for saying there are a lot of stupid white people who hate him for the color of his skin. I pissed a lot of people off. I do that sometimes. I don't mean to, but I do. I pissed one guy off so much he put me in his "foes" list twice!

Sorry dude.

But the fact is I said it was a fact that McCain would be our next President, and someone said "no that's not fact, look at this YouTube clip", so I countered with reference.com (item #4 if you care to check) and said next time he might want to use something more reliable than YouTube, like uncyclopedia. Then I quoted part of what the uncyclopedia has to say about facts (not the part that says "FACTS DETECTED The terrorists have won. Are you happy now?")

But I pointed out to some poor soul who was afraid that he might be a racist, or might be related to a racist, or something, that most likely there are a few black people who won't vote for Obama ("Muthafucka da man's momma is white you damn Unca Tom nigga") but that every black person I know is planning on voting for him twice.

Yes, this is Illinois where dead people vote, but what I meant was once in the primary and once in the general election.

I live on south ninth, despite my skin color which is pretty damned pale. The "hood" starts at eleventh. Most of the bars within walking distance are on fifteenth street, where the crack whores hang out (if you look up "crack whore" in the uncyclopedia it redirects to "your mom"), so I can't remember the last time I was in a bar, let alone buying pot, that there weren't any black people around.

I don't know a lot of black people who are CEOs of corporations, or bankers, or wear neckties. That's one of the reasons I respect blacks. Even if I think the pants halfway down your ass looks fucktarded. But here's the unscientific breakdown of my polling black people I meet in the bars on the vote...

What? You say there's three things you don't talk about in bars and that's sex, religion, and politics? Dude, this is Springfield. Half the people here are from Chicago, and the other half are from St Louis. That is, the half that weren't born here.

No, you can talk about sex, religion, policics, even make a bad racial joke (how many white people does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, they hire someone to do it) but the one thing that will get you in a bar fight, banned from the bar, and thrown in jail is talking about baseball. Baseball will start a brawl. That is, if you talk good or bad about the Cards or the Cubs. Talk good about any other team and everybody in the bar will kick your ass.

If you are one of those folks who called me a racist for saying black people will vote for a black man, now you'll be sure, despite the fact that if my black friends see this they'll laugh their asses off.

Of black voters surveyed unscientifically (meaning just bullshiting with somebody in a bar)

1% Clinton ("Dude, she black. She gotta be black. I mean, dat husband o' hers havin' dat ho suck his dick and she don't divo'ce his ass, she gotta be black")

-1% McCain "Muthafucka are you CRAZY??"

100% Obama. Responses
"He black, man!"
"He's a black man"
"I think it be funny as hell ta have a BLACK man in da WHITE house!
"He looks like me"
"He's a brother, dude!"
"I think he's the most qualified man for the job, although Hillary's a pretty qualified man, too"
"Day's a black man runnin' fo' presiden? Don't be fillin me wid bullshit, man."
"I didn't come here to talk politics wit you ass muthafucka, shut da fuck up and hit dis joint."
"Sheeeeit. What da fuck wrong wit you, man?"

BTW, if you want to fight racism, start with yourself. No matter what race you are. If you are black and are offended by this journal, I apoligise and urge you to slap the shit out of anybody who speaks ebonics. If you're white and offended by this, well, to misquote Jeff Foxworthy, "You might just be a racist".

Update
I just got back from voting, and I don't know who I voted for. I know who I think I voted for, I know who the screen said I voted for, but, well, IIRC the last election the ballot got printed in English and the election judge put it in the ballot box.

This election it was printed in machine-readable code, completely unparsable by a human. So if somebody's cracked the voting machine, they would have the screen report who you wanted to win, while tallying who they wanted to win and printing on the machine readable form who they wanted to win, and unless somebody actually discovered the code nobody would be the wiser.

I guess I'll have to write my "elected" representatives. I put quotes around "elected" because we don't really know, do we?

I had a choice of being a Republican, a Democrat, or a Green today. I was rather chagrined to see that there was no Libertarian choice (besides Ron Paul), but perhaps they choose their guys some other way. If there's no Libertarian running in the general election I guess I'll vote Green.

I'd like to see a black President - but not Barrack Obama. I'd like to see a woman President - but not Hillary Clinton. I'd like to see a black woman president, but not yo momma, foo!

I voted for CowboyNiel in the slashdot poll.

It was a strange ballot. You vote for the candidate, AND then vote for the elector, with the elector's chosen candidate's name there by him.

Besides President and elector, only one candidate had any chance of losing, being the only candidate on the ballot.

Oh, offtopic but I have a date with a married woman tonight. I promise not to fuck her. I won't promise to write a journal about it but I'll try, ok?

Update #2
Shakrai just informed me that Obama did not, in fact, vote for bankrupcy reform as the local paper reported, and give two links. So I guess I could vote for him after all, and no I longer regret casting a vote for him when he first ran for Senate.

What, are you guys comunist or something?, posted to Creative Capitalism Gets Microsoft $528M Tax Break, has been moderated Troll (-1).
It is currently scored Troll (0).

Everything else was moderated interesting, informative, or funny. Can't win 'em all. But guys, I do my trolling offline.

Update 2/6/8
It appears that a friendless fellow named ActionDesignStudios (877390) has made me his foe.

Now, my "freaks" list is pretty short, especially compared to my "fans" list, and I generally don't like making enemies. I'm resigned to the fact that there are going to be people who don't like me, but I don't have to like the idea.

This is different. This guy's history, as of this writing, has one comment, no friends, and one foe - me.

I don't know what to say. I'm honored! Trolls, eat your hears out! I've managed to do by accident what you have made careers of.

Oh yeah, the "troll" above ("What, are you guys comunist or something?") has been remoderated to 2, interesting. HA!!! Take THAT, trollmods!

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Black History Month

Comments Filter:
  • Since when does Jewish law decide whether or not a person is black?
    • by sm62704 (957197)
      Since when does a mcgrew diary have anything to do with anything else?
    • by sm62704 (957197)
      Oh, the actual question: Ancient Hebrew law says you're not Jewish unless your mom is Jewish. Since nobody in my family is Jewish that I know of, I guess that means I must be Irish.

      How many Irishmen does it tale to screw in a lightbulb? Three: one to hold the bulb and two to drink until the room spins.

      What's a seven course meal for an Irishman? A six pack and a potato.

      If you see someone with a British accent in a pub, how do you tell if he's English, Scottish, or Irish? Wait for a fly to land in his beer.

      If
  • The Muslims trace their descent from Abraham, specifically his son Ishmael. Moses came many generations later. By then, there was bad blood between the Israelites and the Ishmaelites. Ok, back to work.

FORTRAN is a good example of a language which is easier to parse using ad hoc techniques. -- D. Gries [What's good about it? Ed.]

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