Comment: Re:Reminds me of a bit from Louis CK (Score 1) 62
Fuck the haters.
This is a phrase you should repeat to yourself. If someone can't understand your mental issues, and doesn't give you an ounce of compassion, they're simply not worth your time or consideration. There are, unfortunately, a lot of such people in the world. There are also a lot of people who DO care. When you're depressed, the latter group can tend to fade completely into the former.
Get yourself to a doctor. Get family to help if you can. Even if you find that drugs do not help -- and while I understand that your mother had a serious problem with them in the past -- they're probably not going to immediately send you to a mental institution. If you do get a prescription, do some due diligence yourself. The internet is full of information that was previously only available to doctors. This is why, when a family member was prescribed Paxil a few years ago, I urged caution and told them to be on the lookout for the feeling of "electricity", because it was part of a well-known terrible side effect and withdrawal effect. It's a good thing, too, because they encountered this, so we worked to get them off of the drug and onto something different.
The antidepressants I have experience with were quite low dose, but we still did have to try a couple before we found one that worked with a minimum of side effects. Any good doctor would know this and work with you. If you get a doctor that doesn't schedule a follow-up visit in 30 days after prescribing you an antidepressant / antianxiety medication, find another doctor.
Even if you're not prescribed a medication, having someone to talk to would be beneficial by itself. This is not something you should have to go alone. You (likely) have a problem with your brain chemistry. The reason that it seems easy for everyone else is that they DON'T have a problem with their brain chemistry; it IS easier for them. That's NOT your fault.
Becoming brave is a noble goal, but you should embrace the idea that this is a medical condition that needs treatment. If other people disagree and think you can just "power through it", fuck em. They don't get it, and probably never will.