mcgrew's Journal: -- Crashing at my house

Guys, please advise...

"Can I borrow forty bucks? I need gas to get back to Edinberg, and..."

Tami had taken off to Edinberg with Tammy, and I had a little privacy for a day.

I forget what else Tammy said she wanted the money for, but I handed it over and she left with Tami. It was a bright sunny Sunday, so I took my little netbook in hand and drove to Felbers, where I found that you can't compute outside on a bright sunny day -- you simply can't see the screen. I went inside, logged onto slashdot, read the paper, and finally closed it up, locked it in the car, and drank my beer outside; nice weather like this shouldn't be wasted. I decided not to get wasted either, and drank the beer slowly.

Tami had broken up with Jessie two weeks earlier, but that was pretty much business as usual. They'd been together for a couple of years, before she'd divorced the alien. Jessie had been after her to divorce him, saying they couldn't have a meaningful relationship so long as she was married. He wouldn't introduce her to his friends, and took the attitude that they were "just friends" until she was divorced.

Things hadn't changed after the divorce, and their relationship had been more than rocky. He wouldn't let her have a key to "their" house, which resulted in her crashing at mine quite often (and getting shitfaced at my house often resulted in the same thing). he still wouldn't introduce her to his friends, and refused to acknowledge their relationship as more than friendship.

She'd called it quits uncounted times; it was business as usual. He'd had a problem with her crashing at my place, and so had Tammy.

Six months ago when Tammy and I had started dating, she'd said that she wanted to "take it slow", and I'd wanted the same thing; I've been hurt too many times since my divorce. A man can punch me, kick me, stab me, cut me, shoot me, break my bones, but only a woman can hurt me.

Two months after we started dating, Tammy told me she was developing feelings for me. A month later she seduced me. Two months after that she told me she loved me.

But she told everyone else we were "just friends". There was red flag after red flag, and I wasn't just color blind, I didn't see the flags at all, even though people were pointing them out to me.

She'd told me about horseback riding once, and I said something about riding with her some time. "Oh, I always ride alone. It's just me and my horse."

She came by later in the afternoon, and when she went to leave that night she got spooked. "Did you see a blue pickup truck? I'm being stalked..." She'd told me months earlier that her ex-boyfriend was insanely jealous and stalking her. "No, I didn't see any truck. The ex?" I asked. "No," she said, "a crazy acquaintence." A while later I walked her to her car, and when she drove off, a blue pickup truck followed her. I called her an hour later to make sure she was OK, and she said she was at her sister's house in Edinberg.

The next morning my car wouldn't start; the battery is at the end of its life. I called Tammy and asked if she had jumper cables and could she give me a jump, and she said she'd bring them by.

Tami showed up, and I asked her about a few things that had been troubling me in the back of my mind. Tami said it was her ex taking care of the horse, not "a friend", and she always went riding with him. And she said she'd talked with Jennifer, and Jennifer told Tami Tammy had been hitting on her husband and if she saw her she was going to beat her ass!

Tammy called me and said she was outside my work with the cables, so I went outside -- and she was there in a blue pickup truck with some guy. "That job I had for the forty bucks fell through," she said.

"We need to talk," I told her.

"Oh oh," she said. I got the car started at lunch, and had Tami give her the cables back that afternoon.

I called her that night, told her what Tami had said about the so-called ex, and asked about a few other lies and half-truths she'd told me, and how Jennifer claimed she heard Tammy had been flirting with her husband, mentioned how she'd been telling me how she felt while telling everyone else we were "just friends", and she went off on me, cursing. I hung up on her. The phone rang and I ignored it. She left me a voicemail saying she'd burned up my phone trying to pay the thirty bucks back (when she'd borrowed forty), called me a liar and siad never to call her again.

I decided to end this one.

"She'll call you in a few days," Tami said, "just watch."

"I don't care," I replied, "I'm done."

"Bullshit," she said, "you'll get back together with her. Dumbass!"

I had a terrible case of the blues; I'd been used again by a woman who pretended to have feelings for me. She'd waltzed into my life right when I was getting used to being by myslef, and it hurt. I was just glad it didn't go on any longer than it had.

I spent the weekend with Tami and the blues. She stayed there all week, cleaning my house and cooking. And being bitchy; she'd had some sort of medical test involving needles and electricity, and had been in pain. Having her around didn't allieviate the blues any, especially since her mood was as bad as mine. Or worse; she'd been going through with Jessie what I'd been going through with Tammy, only I've only been at it for six months, while she'd been putting up with it for two years.

I went to Felber's and came back sober, having a couple of beers, drank slowly. I learned long ago not to get drunk when I'm depressed. Dinner was almost finished cooking when I got there. She watched TV for a couple of hours while I read, and I got up to heat up a snack. I put the plate in the microwave, pressed the start button, and

BOOM! the house shook.

"What the fuck was that?!?" I exclaimed.

"Car wreck!" she said, running out the door. I followed her out, barefoot. There was what looked like a car's headlight and part of its front end in the street in front of my house, under the street light. A dark Cherokee was backing out of the car dealer a few houses down, making scraping sounds. A police car pulled up in front of the house. "Was there a car wreck?" he asked, seeing the debris in the street.

"Yeah!" I said, "There he is," pointing to the Cherokee, who was taking off. "That car with the backup lights." the cop turned on his siren and went after the Cherokee, who took off around the corner. I went inside and put my sandals on and came back out. It had started raining; some neighbors were walking up the sidewalk, and Tami was nowhere to be seen. I could see the blue flashing lights around the corner, and noticed that the debris wasn't part of a car, but was the lamp from the streetlight. I walked toward the flashing lights, and there was a badly damaged Mercedes parked at the car lot, moved two feet sideways with most of its front end gone, resting against another badly damaged car. The Cherokee had hit the streetlight, then hit the cars parked in the car lot, totalling one and badly damaging two more. Tami was talking to the guy from the car lot.

I walked around the corner, and there were half a dozen police cars there. The Cherokee's bumper was hanging in the street, its driver gone; either he or she had got out and ran, or more likely was in the back of one of the police cars in handcuffs. I collared a policewoman and told her about the streetlight, and walked back home in the rain. Tami came back in shortly. A CWLP truck was there twenty minutes later surveying the damage to the streetlight (how long would it take your privately owned electric company?)

I watched the Stephen Hawking Show and went to bed, completely forgetting about Tammy and my blues.

You don't need advice

[Jeremiah Cornelius]

You need music.

The Face:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=74f0_NgFlAw [youtube.com]

The Wolf:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fBYZkBLVFPQ [youtube.com]

Oh my.

[zeronode]

Sounds like Tammy is either:

1) Having you has her guy on the side
2) Bat Shit Insane
3) Likes you, but is hung up on people seeing you as a couple
4) All of the above.

No good can come from this.

Disclaimer: I'm on my third marriage. What do I know about relationships?

Re:

[mcgrew]

At any rate, I;m done with her. There's also the possibility of 5) using me. Women don't seem to want me for anything but 1) friendship and 2) sex. I can live with it I guess, but I wish I could have one all to myself.