Forgot your password?
typodupeerror
User Journal

mcgrew's Journal: I Love Lucy 13

Journal by mcgrew

Ok, I said I'd reveal who the new GF is, but I'm not going to edit the journal I first mentioned her in. I dissembled to keep her identity secret, but AC (who I think was moose_hp because I responded to AC, figuring he was a regular reader and moose_hp responded to my response with the answer to my sig: 42) was actually correct. It is indeed Tami, AKA "Lucy Furr".

Actually, she came down to my house that Friday night and we did some drinking. She did a LOT of drinking, and crashed on my couch. Saturday morning she used the bathroom, and still drunk, staggered into my bedroom and into my bed.

She moved in with me that afternoon, and that evening we did it again on the couch. But there's a problem - she has a very small vagina. Too small. And I'm no John Holmes but I'm better equipped than average. It worked out for Evil-X, who had the biggest, nastiest pussy I ever saw, and who bragged about the size of my penis to her friends, who all tried (unsucessfully) to seduce me. That was probably the reason she'd bragged -- If I'd ever been unfaithful, she would have felt justified in her adultery.

Tami's the anti-X. X had the largest I'd seen, she's got the smallest. I couldn't get the whole thing in. And I think I hurt her, although I tried ny best not to.

I don't understand "penis envy". There's no advantage whatever to having a large member. Big tits might get a woman laid, but a woman's not going to know you have a big dick until it's inside of her. I truly wish mine was smaller.

She started her period the next day. You think your woman's PMS is bad, try a woman with bipolar disorder and PMS! She was bitchy all week, and is only now starting to get out of her bad mood.

I waited for her to get horney, but... it's been a week and a half so I brought it up this morning. She said she's still bleeding off and on, and said she's afraid she's got an ovarian cyct as she had one before and the symptoms are the same. But I fear I might be the cause, and I also fear that it's not going to work out, that she'll go back to her old boyfriend, or find a new one.

I suggested using KY jelly next time, and she said it wasn't the girth that was the problem, it was the length. I don't know if there's a solution. I googled this morning, unsuccessfully. The closest answer I got was I need to become obese, which is hard for me to do, being naturally thin.

I kind of have the blues a little, you know? Does anyone have a way out of my predicament?

Next: Jealousy

This discussion has been archived. No new comments can be posted.

I Love Lucy

Comments Filter:
  • but AC (who I think was moose_hp because I responded to AC, figuring he was a regular reader)

    Nope. It was me.


    Hiiiiiiiiiiiiii.

    • by mcgrew (92797)

      Everybody's exposing themselves today, it seems!

      • by moose_hp (179683)
        Yeah, it was not me, by the time I read about her being cartoonish I tough something like "shit, that comment narrows it down to like half Springfield" (assuming that Springfield's population is 50% women and 50% men).
        • by mcgrew (92797)

          Meg was cartoonish; she was too beautiful to be anything BUT a cartoon. She moved to Florida, Man, do I miss her.

  • What can I say McGrew?

    This is a triumph of hope over experience! ; )

    Now about the size thing, there are several positions that allow you to have intercourse with a bit less deep penetration... Maybe that can help

    • by mcgrew (92797)

      there are several positions that allow you to have intercourse with a bit less deep penetration

      I thought of doggie style... what others would likely work? I never ran across this problem before.

      Triumph of hope over experience, never have truer words been said. But... I've never had the experience of a friend becoming more than a friend before. I don't know what I'd have done without her after the vitrectomy, as well as a lot of other times I really, really needed someone there for me.

      Man, I've got the blues

      • by Abreu (173023)

        Try spooning... Also, a variant of doggie where the girl lies face down (don't recall the name of the position and Websense won't let me find out)

      • by tqft (619476)

        The big problem - practice

        Blues? Best cure - John Lee Hooker or Robert Johnson

        • by mcgrew (92797)

          BB King, Eric Clapton, Stevie Ray Vaughn. IMO Vaugn's rendition of "The Sky Is Crying" is the best I've heard, and every blues player in the world must have done that one.

          George Thorogood, too - his rendition of "House Rent Blues/One Bourban, One Scotch, one beer" is almost as good as John Lee Hooker's.

          Led Zeppeling is known for hard rock, but they did a lot of good blues. "Since I've Been Loving You I'm About to Lose My Worried Mind" may be the blusiest blues song I've heard ("Open my front door, hear my b

  • that woman is poison.
    but you know that.
    have fun recovering

    i hate to be mean but I hate it when people willing go into stupid situations for poon.

    • by mcgrew (92797)

      You're right, of course. I doubt it will last, but I've had feelings for her for a long time. It's not like she's never done me wrong before.

      I can't find a GOOD woman, all the good ones are taken.

What hath Bob wrought?

Working...