Journal mcgrew's Journal: Jealousy 8
It keeps getting worse. I was afraid there were going to be five women living at my house with me.
The girls all seem to be in competetion for my attention, despite the fact that one is married (even though she calls her alien husband, who she hasn't had sex with for over a year, her "ex") and another one has a boyfriend and the third has no apparent interest in sex at all. With me, at least. They gossip about each other, and it's always complaints: she did this, she did that, I did such and such and never get any recognition, habla habla habla.
Women. I'll never understand them.
Sunday was peaceful for a change - all but one of the girls was gone, and she slept most of the day. It started out with a quiet morning of watching movies. We watched a Pierce Brosnian James Bond movie, then a Jodie Foster movie.
As far as I know I've never seen a Jodie Foster movie before. It was an ok movie, but something struck me about the actress: she shares a freakish trait with me.
My victrectomy must have damaged my iris, because that pupil doesn't respond quickly. When I get up in the morning and turn on the bathroom light I look like Bill the Cat, with my left pupil big and my right pupil tiny. It pretty much evens out by the time I get my coffee drank, and I don't think it's too noticable even though the pupils are never exactly the same size like normal people's. At least, only one person has said anything, and my eyes have been like that since April when Doctor Odin fixed my retina.
I noticed that Jodie Foster's pupils weren't the same size.
Ladies, please don't shoot the President to impress me. For one you're several years too late; he leaves office in January. For another you'll just get yourself locked up. But mostly I'm easy; there's no need to go to all that trouble for me!
After the movie things sort of happened and... well, things just sort of happened. I was sworn to secrecy.
Monday was a holiday and things sort of happened again.
Monday night Annie showed up after a big fight with her boyfriend. I hoped that Charlie didn't know she was an ex-hooker, because Charlie hates whores, they having constantly drained Ralph's bank account when he was alive and she lived with him.
Tuesday at work the phone wouldn't stop ringing. The absent ladies were all checking in with me. Annie had said she was staying at my house, making four. Connor called at work looking for Amy, which worried me. I was afraid that she, too was going to show up on my doorstep, as she was missing from Connor's. But fortunately she found somewhere else to stay.
She showed up at my work when I got off, so I took her to a bar for a drink. She'd been on the wagon for two weeks but had fallen off. We went by the house after the bar, but she only stayed a while and left with Charlie, who she's known longer than me.
Annie wanted sex. Revenge sex. Of course I was happy to oblige, especially since she'd lost weight and was no longer blimpishly obese - she'd turned into a real hottie. Guys, never turn down a woman just because she's fat. As I heard one fat woman say once to woman with a big nose, "Bitch, I can lose weight but you're ugly forever".
God, it never rains but it pours. I hadn't been laid in a month and here it looked I was getting some every day now!
Then Wednesday night all four of them were there and all hell broke loose. One of the three confinded to another of the three about the "things that had sort of happened" Sunday and Monday, and she told the third. Charlie found out that Annie was an ex-hooker, and there was yelling and screaming all night long. I didn't get any sleep at all!
The next day Charlie left, I wonder if she'll be back. Tami, Linda, and Annie were all vying for my attention. Tami wound up storming out of the house too, Linda had a stomachache and lay on the couch groaning and panting and complaining but wouldn't let anybody take her to the hospital.
Tami called from the Blue Grouch wanting to talk. This pissed Annie off, who stormed out herself. I watched My Name Is Earl and Tami called back.
"Are you coming or are you going to blow me off for that whore again?"
Jesus, they not only don't want to have sex with me (at least they rebuff my efforts at seduction) but they don't want me having sex at all! I do NOT understand women.
"No, I'm not blowing you off. I told you I'd come by when Earl was over."
I had a couple of beers with Tami and left her at the bar. Linda was moaning and groaning but still refused to let me take her to the hospital. I worried, thinking about my late friend Jim Dawson, who died from a heart attack not wanting to subject his family to the killing bills he'd racked up with an appendectomy. He died because the US lacks universal health care, like a vagabond in some Godforsaken third world hellhole.
I put Linda to bed in the middle bedroom, and she assured me she'd be OK. I left the bedroom doors open so she could call to me if she needed to go to the hospital, and fell asleep to the sounds of her agony. The other girls never showed back up.
In the morning I went in to check on her. She was sleeping peacefully. I put my hand on her arm and her eyes opened. "You ok?" I asked.
"Yeah, I feel a lot better, thanks."
I poured my coffee and sat down at the dining room table, and Callie jumped in my lap, purring. Not two minutes later Little One stuck a claw in Callie's ass and Callie jumped down, the two of them hissing and clawing and scratching, and Callie ran into the kitchen and Little One jumped in my lap purring.
As Robert Heinlein once observed, women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs need to get used to the idea.
Any advice from you folks, especially women, would be greatly appreciated.
I'll never understand pussy.
Cats and women (Score:2)
McGrew: My only advice would be this: All of them, gone (except Charlie, if she's as level headed as she seems to be; except fot that whole, promising love muffin and never giving it up), and keep her especially if she's the one that was involved with said secret. Also, seriously, you live in Springfield, there have to be more women out there than that.
As an aside, you're right Little Brother definately worth the read (got through it in 2 days, while at work)
--Sleepy Dragon
Re: (Score:2)
I need the money. But I'm throwing that ugly fatassed Tami out after yesterday, I can't journal about this past weekend but I'll just say Tami is a sociopath. I need the money, but not badly enough to put up with her.
Charlie stormed out when she found out Annie was a hooker and she hadn't been paying (much) rent anyway. I talked with her on the phone yesterday, as it stands right now Linda is the only one remaining, and she's behind on her rent, too.
Also, seriously, you live in Springfield, there have to be
Re: (Score:2)
Re: (Score:2)
We have an alderman named Gail Simpson [illinoistimes.com]. This guy [sj-r.com] runs the power plant, and this guy [silcofillinois.org] is mayor.
They look familiar to you?
Bitch, I can lose weight but you're ugly forever (Score:2)
Bitch, I can lose weight but you're ugly forever
Bessie Braddock: Sir, you are drunk.
Winston Churchill: And you, madam, are ugly. But in the morning, I shall be sober.
Interestingly, a former classmate of mine observed that an ugly girl becomes hot when you turn out the lights. But a fat girl has nowhere to hide.
Understanding? (Score:2)
I have said this to many a friend as they lament their lack of understanding with regards to the female gender.
You understand them just fine - you just don't want to accept what you've learned.
Sex (Score:1)
You always pay on way or another, only the currency varies. Sometimes the price is listening to hours of crap.
I now subscribe to Stuoppos law:
If they dont put out for 6 weeks get rid of them.
Now as to the secret weekend, its not like you to hold out on us. The collective imagination runs wild....
Regards
Falc
Re: (Score:2)