I bet the soon to come pro version will do a secure wipe of the phone so that the police can't perform a warrantless search on it. Obviously this version will be targeted at mobsters, drug dealers, and the tinfoil hat crowd.
"I'm sorry, you cannot watch the food network due to your current girth. How about we tune in Biggest Loser instead?"
"We are working with the provider of the Illini-Alert service to implement additional security features in the program to prevent this type of error."
After implementing the "additional security" we will hear how they were unable to send an alert for an actual event because the Chief of Police was dealing with the problem and couldn't come in to put his code in.
Only home users should be printing (usually PDF) via the browser. This is usually just some really big barcode where it doesn't matter if the layout changes.
If you are trying to print precise documents then you will need to develop a printout direct to the printers. If you are issuing passenger tickets then I'd recommend an industrial printer like a Zebra. The printing language is not that difficult to learn and those printers will just keep printing for years day-in day-out.