My argument is at the 175K mark. That's 14,583 dollars a month. We'll subtract out your 50% tax burden to get $7291 dollars a month. We'll assume you're paying $3,166/month to pay off your $250,000 debt in 10 years, leaving you $4125/month or $49,508 after taxes. Median income in the US is $32,000 - pre tax, or at a 25% tax rate, $24,000 aka $2,000/ month. That's $2125 a month more than the average person, for 10 years after you get a job, more than enough to get a decent place to live and a couple of cars. Given that the tax rate for 175, is actually only 33% you'd get an extra $2479/month to spend on top of that $4125. So, no I don't have any sympathy for someone bringing in that much money.
At the 90K level on the other hand, It's going to be fairly rough compared to the average middle class family, and I empathize. You're still going to have it better than a third of americans though. Not seeing your spouse for nights at a time is rough and i applaud you for making it through together.
Have you ever been required to work 36 hour shifts without any sleep? No
Yes, and don't forget you have it better than active duty deployed military. Same crappy hours plus gunfire, and their pay will never be that good.