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Journal bethanie's Journal: Mount Bethanie Blows: Watch the Lava & Kiss My Ash! 59

Journal by bethanie
WARNING: This is Bethanie on a rant. Things may get a little ugly. Rated PG-43 for strong language, imaginary violence, and explicit sexual content.

So there's this cashier at the local grocery who's like, a nidget[1]. She has a pretty tough time doing her job, because as far as I can see, there have been no special efforts made to accommodate her. She has to strain to reach the keypad, and she *definitely* can't reach to tear off the receipt when you're done -- but customers can, because it's right in front of them, so it's no big deal.

Now, this is one of those stores (bless them!) where *they* unload your groceries from the buggy and scan them. This, too, appears to be something of a challenge for her -- the top of her head comes to just a few inches above the top of the buggy, and she has a tough time reaching in to get the groceries out.

To be honest, I've been pretty PC about the whole thing. I'm not one of those assholes who has to get through the store in record time (said with a smile, Em). So I'm patient with her, I do what I can to help, and I *always* have a pleasant attitude towards her. This is the same way I do with everyone else, really -- no special consideration there.

But today, I just wasn't up to it. Kiddo has decided to revolt against potty training and is BACK in diapers full time. Fuck. (Talk about feeling like a fucking failure! Somebody talk me through *this* little wrinkle!!!) And the house is a mess, I can't get anything done, I haven't completed *one* task I've set out to accomplish in I can't remember how long... Not to mention the butt-fucking animal ass shit-guzzling fucktard who suggested to me in the baking goods aisle that I needed to listen more *carefully* to my child, because I absentmindedly agreed to getting 2 sacks of powdered sugar at one point, and then (pleasantly!) told Kiddo to put one of them back when I noticed what she was doing. Keep your fucking opinions to yourself, lady -- when you've spent 2.75 years doting on this creature *every* *waking* *minute* (and being on call during the sleeping ones!), then you can criticize me for not being attentive enough!!!!

Deep breaths.... Deep cleansing breaths... Find my happy place... OK. Moving onward...

Now, I've got to put up with Nidget, the Crabass Cashier.

I haven't mentioned so far that I have *never* seen this woman smile. I have never heard her make a pleasant comment. Not in almost 2 years of weekly shopping at this store.

Now, I don't expect Happy Little Elves running around, being gleeful and glib about their near-disabilities to relieve any guilt I might harbor for being quite healthy and able-bodied... but dude, you could *smile* once in a while, ya know?! Just be fucking glad that it's noon, it's sunny out, that you're *breathing*!

So I'm standing there like fuckin' Patience on the Mount waiting for my groceries to get scanned. And this asshole is grunting and groaning, sighing and moaning with *every* *fucking* *item*.

And then, when she picks up my 6 6-packs of Tab (let's not get started on the fact that I can only get Tab 1 visit out 6, OK? Check your fucking sales and keep stock on hand accordingly! The fucking Coke truck is there 3 times a week. Have him bring a couple goddamn cases of Tab with him, will ya?!)... Anyway, she starts unloading my Tab, and fucking *rolls her eyes* every time she picks another one up, like she's thinking, "What the flaming stick of fuck kind of moron actually drinks this stuff?!"

And this pisses me off. I am spending my (husband's) hard-earned money in this store, and if I didn't she would have one less reason to be employed there. I prefer to be treated pleasantly. I *deserve* to be treated indifferently, at the very least. But you dish out contempt, lady, and that just crosses the line.

And yeah, there's other shit going on right now, too. I just whipped up a batch of soul-soothing fudge, but it's going to take a while to set up. The next best thing I could think to do was climb in here onto the computer (an awkward position to type in, let me tell you!) and vent online.

Just in time, too, 'cause Hubby just got home. Time to go fix the fucking supper. Great. Here's the man with the Happy Stick. How 'bout we see if a good flogging doesn't brighten my attitude, eh folks?


[1]Nearly a midget -- probably around 4'6" (less?)?

Oh, and as for the disclaimer -- two out of three ain't bad!
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Mount Bethanie Blows: Watch the Lava & Kiss My Ash! More

Mount Bethanie Blows: Watch the Lava & Kiss My Ash!

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  • Your first three words contain two complete sentences. And they are both right where my mind is... Three, if you count the one about the volcano. I've just had an idea. I do believe that I shall name a partition after you.

    Somebody talk me through *this* little wrinkle!!!
    Ok. Fast forward 50 years. Kiddo is complaining Mom is back in diapers full time. Who got the worst of the exchange?

    I don't expect Happy Little Elves running around
    I do. Like the sign says, "The customer is not an interruption from my
    • Your first three words contain two complete sentences. And they are both right where my mind is...

      Yes, I realize this. Clever, eh?

      And yes, that's right about where *my* mind is, too. (If you hadn't noticed!!)

      ....Bethanie....
      • Oh, NOW I get it....after Red Warrior explained the bit about naming a partition after you...

        'mount bethanie'

        (the command in *nix to mount a partition)

        and, by extension,

        'bethanie blows'

        Got it. ;)

        I'm gonna do better -- I'm not only gonna name a partition after you, I'm gonna write a shell script named after you and it will take 'blows' as its first parameter. ;)

        Ya gotta love geeks, no?

        • 'mount bethanie'
          (the command in *nix to mount a partition)

          You're breaking my heart, Surak. What command would you use if there might be errors on the partition?

          (And I checked the manpage. I always run it with device name parameter, but a label works too)

          ready?

          fsck bethanie

          Red Warrior's jokes have layers - like an onion.

          • Uh, yeah, Rev, I knew that but, uh, I wasn't going to go there. I was willing to bet that *bethanie* didn't get that. It *would* have been a funny little secret between Red and me and everyone else who knows *nix had you not stepped in an pointed it out. ;)

            • I was willing to bet that *bethanie* didn't get that. It *would* have been a funny little secret between Red and me...

              Bethanie,

              Why are you hanging out with these guys when they try to make you the butt of their private little dirty jokes? It isn't fair to you. The dirsty little jokes should be public.

              Damn geeks are probably still upset that girls like you wouldn't talk to them in high school.

              Very Truly Yours,
              Reverend Mike

          • like an onion.

            To do the AOL thing, ROFLMAO!
    • Ok. Fast forward 50 years. Kiddo is complaining Mom is back in diapers full time. Who got the worst of the exchange?

      I hate to sound like and AOLamer... but every once in a while... ROFLMAO!

  • This bitch at the grocery store was having a very very bad day and proceeded to have a conniption on my groceries because she couldn't get the scanner to recognize the barcodes. She's lucky I didn't yell at her for being so abusive to them. That would've probably made her cry. Sheesh.

    I now refuse to go into her aisle as a result. Now way, no how, am I dealing with her shit.

    Thank goodness for the U-Scan.
    • U-Scan is really hard to deal with when you're corraling a wee one. And basically, the store has used it as an excuse to pare *way* back on their staffing, so there are only one or two cashiers and *one* bagboy (which is a silly term, because the bagboys, for the most part, are old enough to be my grandfathers) for the whole freakin' store.

      But I'm with you. I'm skipping the Nidget next time I see her working.

      ....Bethanie....

    • Thank goodness for the U-Scan.

      Self-checkout would be a Good Thing, if only

      1. dumbass morons who can't figure out how they work don't try to use them
      2. they took credit/ATM cards only, so you don't have to wait for dumbass morons to (try to) feed wrinkled $1 bills into the machine to make a $50 purchase
      3. dumbass morons would actually pay attention to the "20 items or less" (or whatever) sign and obey it

      so those of us who want to get in and get out can do so without wasting half an hour.

  • Comment removed based on user account deletion
    • What bugs me is that she *definitely* "gets it." She has just completely regressed to babyhood, and I feel like it's my fault because I'm not giving her enough attention or something. And I have a sneaking suspicion that I'm right.

      ....Bethanie....
      • What bugs me is that she *definitely* "gets it." She has just completely regressed to babyhood, and I feel like it's my fault because I'm not giving her enough attention or something.

        Ahh, the 'power struggle'. My nephew went through it. Its not lack of attention or anything, but the lil'one asserting her dependence subconsiously. Unfortunately, the only advice to give is patience. She'll learn eventually.

        More advice from the pro, my wife (who worked for years in childcare) says the best thing to d
  • My boy turns 3 tommorow. He got out of diapers for 1 day this year and was really excited about going potty. Then he magically decided he likes living in his own filth. But the doc says nothings wrong.
    Then my mom remided me that it took me till i was almost 4 to get trained.
    The Wife isn't too happy but i'm glad I have a genius just like me.
    • Take them camping. When I was going through the potty training phase, my family went camping. My mother was irritated that she was having to lug diapers around. Especially since I would come and TELL HER everytime I needed changing. So, about the second day up there, when I filled my diaper, she washed my butt in the cold mountain stream. I learned to go on my little potty chair shortly after that, according to my parents.
  • First off, is that it's very very hard to fire someone. Especially in states where the grocery workers union is in control. I know that was the case back in California.

    Second, companies make it very very difficult to excercise your rights. But an established employee can often get away with it.

    I have of course two tales, one for each situation. When I was in California, I worked in a grocery store for a month. One of the checkers was an incredibly sweet and kind woman, whom all the customers loved, a
  • Love the title.

    The rant itself left a lot to be desired.

    Even though she's handicapped, that's not an excuse to be an asshole.

    More swearing.

    LET IT GO. Don't hold the rant in, doing so will only cause George to come along and berate you.

    Have fun storming the chocolate castle.

    see ya
    • Even though she's handicapped, that's not an excuse to be an asshole.

      She might have a valid reason for being pissed. Like being kicked out of the lollypop guild or lost her pot of gold or something like that.
  • Here's the man with the Happy Stick

    Is that what they're calling it these days ;-)

  • "What the flaming stick of fuck kind of moron actually drinks this stuff?!"

    Actually, she may have a point there. That ranks up there with Diet Rite as one of those sodas that always seem to be there, but I've never actually seen someone drink.

    I'd just go to a different cashier. Technically, she's not doing anything wrong, so it's not as if you can even complain.

    Very little irritates me more than strangers giving parenting advice. Keep it to yourself, asshole! My kids are walking and talking and general

    • Very little irritates me more than strangers giving parenting advice.


      Replying to myself...


      "Slashdot: News for Nerds, Parenting Advice" does not apply here of course...

    • Hey -- have you *tried* Tab lately? It's *really* good. But I was pissed because the only reason I needed to buy 6 6-packs of it in the first place is because I almost *never* find it in the store, and they're the only ones around who carry it (even sporadically). It was compound pissage, I tell you!!

      I will, of course, be doing exactly what you say -- going to a different cashier. Or even checking myself out, if it comes to that. I don't need that kind of attitude.

      I can't remember anyone *ever* having g
  • Just in time, too, 'cause Hubby just got home. Time to go fix the fucking supper.

    Well flaming fuck on a stick, Bethanie! When your having a rough day just let Hubby fix his own supper. It is easy to do. When he walks through the door and says, "What's for supper?" reply "Snookums, I thought we'd grill some burgers|steaks|chicken|fish|sausage|ribs|mice." He will grunt a few times, announce "FIRE GOOD!" and go light the grill. Men love meat and fire, and they'll happilly combine them.

    If he does ha

    • ROFLMFAO! Oh, that brought TEARS to my eyes!

      That was good, Mike, especially the "mice."

      And the "Snookums" part is best said when only partially clothed and with big eyes.

      Thanks for the laugh.

      ---

      Bethanie,

      Don't sweat the potty training stuff. It'll happen in due time. I haven't experienced this myself *yet* as my little "Maggie" is only 8 months old... but parents with more than one daughter have told me they've had GREAT success in letting the girls walk around w/o underwear during potty training, a
      • I heard the same thing about letting little girls run around without underwear. Or even with *just* underwear. And I don't think you're considering the full spectrum of what's involved in every puddle:
        1. "Momma, I had uh at-sident."
        2. Run to go get towel. Better get 2. And a washcloth.
        3. Soak up the puddle with the towel, have her stand on a clean one.
        4. Go get the washcloth wet to wipe her down.
        5. Realize that the pee has also soaked onto her shirt (if she was sitting down).
        6. Take off the shirt, finish mopping up.
        7. R
    • This is a great idea, but there are problems:
      1. He didn't get home till after 9 pm
      2. He won't grill after dark
      3. It takes ~30 minutes to get the fire ready, and another 30 to cook the meat (I didn't want to wait until 10:30 for supper)
      4. I didn't have anything thawed (and hate using the microwave to thaw meat -- it makes it tough)
      5. Usually, I'm the one who grills, anyway (I'm also the one who usually drives all of us around town on weekends! But he still drives on long trips. He's so liberated!)

      Good idea, though.

  • sounds an awful lot like a rant I did earlier where I caught some grief over my "not southern" attitude.

    The shoe is on the other foot, dear Bethanie, it's on the other foot. ;)

    Just kidding Mrs Sweetness, enjoy your tab and remember, it takes 48 muscles to frown, but only 3 to raise your arm and open-handed pimp slap someone.
    • Yes, dearie. That's the JE I linked to. :-)

      And I'm still bitching about a non-Southern attitude. This time, it's HERS. *I* was still polite and civil. I was just thinking dirty Yankee thoughts.

      But thanks for the pimp slap info. I'll have to catalog that one away. :-)

      ....Bethanie....
  • but damn that was funny. No, I don't mean to laugh at your pain and suffering... oh who am I kidding, yes I was laughing at your pain and suffering. ;)

    Happy Stick eh? Have to try that one on the wife when I get home tonight. Woot!
    • I am delighted to entertain. :-)

      Yeah. "Happy Stick" is my own little invention. You're welcome to try it out on the wife -- hell, I'd even encourage it!

      Bonus points if you let us know what kind of results you get! :-)

      ....Bethanie....
  • Seeing as everybody is giving advice, you might want to try what my neighbour's uncle's son says. I don't think that he has any kids, though. If you have any trouble contacting, then let me know; I'll go ask him what he says.

    Just kidding. I think that I just ruined another joke.

    Seriously, I'm sad to see what problems you have. I'm glad to see that you decided to not let your kid pee & poo on the floor. It kind of defeats the purpose of diapers, no?

    I must say that a lot of your phrases just go right o
    • eugene, it's not really that big a problem. I'm just venting.

      And how do I go over your head? This concerns me, because I'd like to be as accessible as possible to everyone. (Don't *go* there, Surak.)

      Is it too much swearing? Not enough explicit sex? Do I need to use more colorful metaphors? Really -- I need to know. How can I make this work better for *you*?

      ....Bethanie....
      See? *That's* service!

      • And how do I go over your head? This concerns me, because I'd like to be as accessible as possible to everyone. (Don't *go* there, Surak.)

        Is it too much swearing? Not enough explicit sex? Do I need to use more colorful metaphors? Really -- I need to know. How can I make this work better for *you*?

        It's that happy stick. I didn't even think to question what you were referring to when I 1st read it, until all those guys started making comments. The name of the journal entry didn't raise any other thoughts eit

        • Oh -- OK. I get it. You're *pure*!!!

          All right. I'll keep it up. But I'm not gonna quit swearing. It's just too much of a release for me. I have to keep my language *very* clean around Kiddo, or she'll get kicked out of preschool for swearing like a sailor. While that might be amusing in a movie, it's not something I want to live through.

          As for the double entendres -- I think just about everything I write is lousy with them. Nearly everything can be taken a couple different ways, and if it's possible to

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