bethanie's Journal: Old Fogeys on Parade (Sorta)

This just in from my father in So Cal. (A little background: Folks are both 56 years old. Mom is a school teacher. Dad is *not* the nurturing type -- think gmhowell here, but not so sweet & sentimental).

Dear Kids,

Just to let you know, your mother, today (the first day of school) was walking her class to lunch and sort of twisted her ankle and fell. Being the trooper she is, she got up, brushed herself off, and being the blonde she is, walked fifteen more feet and fell again. This time she had apparently offended the walking gods. She hit her face on her insulated mug and opened a small cut beside her right eye (where you get squint lines). She sprained her ankle a little along with her right wrist. Bruised her knees slightly. We still do not know what was in the mug. (Lab analysis is pending.)

I took her to the doctor. He suggested that we may want to put a stitch in the wound. When he left the room Mom and I discussed it and decided she should have at least two stitches... In telling the story it just wouldn't have the same impact if she fell and had to get "a stitch" in her face. A legend demands the story bring drama with retelling so she could say she had to get "Stitches". Dr. B accommodated our request.

She is a little stiff and sore from the fall and the wound is really small and should not leave a scar (but getting stitches actually makes the story worth sharing). I tended her every need and she is resting comfortably in bed. I have removed the tea cup (chamomile) and crumpet crumbs and finished the dinner dishes. She is so pampered.

I have also duct taped the mug and added foam insulation around the upper edges, being careful to leave enough room for her to sip without suffering the foam. I have loaded the walker into the SUV and ordered a warm up tape to watch before recess. I am sure she will appreciate the efforts.

Just thought you would want to hear it from me first.

Love,

Dad

Now that I've stopped laughing, I can go ahead and post this.

ROFLMAO

[mgessner]

Oh, I have a Dad like that too! Growing up was... INTERESTING!

Thank your Dad, please, for the great laugh!!

You're mom is a wimp

[FortKnox]

Sorry, gm hasn't replied, yet, and I was anticipating it... ;-)

Re:You're mom is a wimp

[gmhowell]

Yeah, yeah, so I'm late. At least that would have given me the time to differentiate between "you're" and "your".

Don't you CS types know *anything* about grammar?

Re:You're mom is a wimp

[Daengbo]

They just know regex and vi, but can't do there, their, or they're. On topic, my father was a fighter pilot, so the letter reminds me of his no bullshit attitude (when he was home).

I fail to see the humour.

[GMontag]

My son has a dad just like that!

Re:I fail to see the humour.

[Pirogoeth]

You said it before I could!

My wife (also a teacher) fell walking down the step into our garage earlier in the year and broke her foot in the process. Also the trooper, she continued on to school where her fellow staff yelled at her for coming into work, then drove her to the hospital.

I was at an offsite meeting when I finally got the call. We all had a good laugh at her expense, then made up for it with a few weeks of solid pampering.

If she did it 20 years from now, my kids would probably get a similar e

For her birthday..

[dr_dank]

perhaps one of those "Help, I've fallen and I can't get up" type systems are in order. I don't know if it can accomodate "Help, I've twisted my ankle and poked my goddamn eye out", though.

That's not what I was expecting

[dubiousdave]

After you revealed that you and Hubby were middle-aged, I thought maybe you were posting family pictures.

Re:That's not what I was expecting

[bethanie]

Well, if we (specifically, *I*) are/am middle-aged, then what does that make *you*?!

Ppplllllt. :-P * * *

....Bethanie....

Re:That's not what I was expecting

[dubiousdave]

Ppplllllt. :-P * * *

Covered in your spit, apparently. I need windshield wipers for my glasses.

.

.

.

(I decided not to comment on my comment about being covered in your spit. It would have been tacky. ;-) )

Re:That's not what I was expecting

[bethanie]

It would have been tacky.

Tacky? Not really. Perhaps a *bit* sticky, but it's usually pretty diluted by then.

;-)

....Bethanie....

Re:That's not what I was expecting

[dubiousdave]

Besides that, I still get carded. No one has ever considered me for a senior citizen's discount. So there! Pltpltpltptlpltp right back at you.

Now we're both wet.

Re:That's not what I was expecting

[bethanie]

Now we're both wet.

But not for the same reasons, I bet!

....Bethanie....

These people may very well be your folks...

[Surak]

These people may very well be your folks...
.
.
but do you REALLY want to claim them? ;)

Of course she does...

[SolemnDragon]

It's the only way that she'll ever be able to explain to her kid where she gets her wicked sense of humour! (staunchly defending bethanie, queen of carnage, rampage, and good parenting)

Re:Of course she does...

[Surak]

It's the only way that she'll ever be able to explain to her kid where she gets her wicked sense of humour! (staunchly defending bethanie, queen of carnage, rampage, and good parenting)

My mom told us she got hers from raising two completely and totally spoiled-rotten children.

I have yet to meet these children, however. ;)

nurturing type ?

[sparky4]

he did not use the tape on the ankle and super glue for stitches - that does count as being a caring and nurturing type of guy.

Yeah.

[insanecarbonbasedlif]

It has to be said - I wee where you get it. You're a chip off the old block. (Oh, what's that saying? Yeah, that's it - The nut doesn't fall very far from the tree.)