bethanie's Journal: Constrained Writing Exercise: My results

Writing exercise, as assigned by Messr. Shadow Wrought

1. Spacecraft
2. Parasite
3. Refugee
4. Volcano
5. Boiler
6. Generator
7. Jam
8. Photograph
9. Boxer
10. Onion

Like a spacecraft in orbit around a giant planet, she found herself irresistibly drawn to him. As a parasite is dependent upon its host, she thrived exclusively on the scant bits of attention and affection he offered. A refugee from all she knew that was right and decent, she was powerless to deny the roiling volcano of her passion, driving her heat like an overfueled boiler. His presence in her life was the generator of a flood of emotions that she had never felt before, and although she often felt like someone had jammed a wrench into the gears of her brain, she wouldn't trade this feeling for anything in the world.

And to think, it had all started with a blurry photograph of him in boxer shorts and his joking statement that he'd like to remove her clothing piece by piece, just as he'd peel away the layers of an onion...

Well, it wasn't supposed to be *good* was it? :-P

Based on a real person?

[nizo]

...As a parasite is dependent upon its host...

Wait, I think I was married to this woman. :-D

Congrats!

[Allen Zadr]

Very nice. I like that you didn't take the Sci-Fi bait while working in the short story genre.

Re:Congrats!

[bethanie]

Pish. I couldn't do Sci-Fi if it gagged & bound itself and lay naked in bed waiting for me!

....Bethanie....

Re:Congrats!

[Allen Zadr]

Not to worry. Sci-Fi is scared of binds and gags, after a cruel joke played on him while still a freshman at collage.

So, instead, Sci-Fi is content to watch you from afar - and hope you notice him, while hoping you don't notice him. Ahh, the enigma of Sci-Fi. He just wants you to believe in him.

It's meant to sound a little creepy - but not quite scary creepy.

Re:Congrats!

[tomhudson]

Pish. I couldn't do Sci-Fi if it gagged & bound itself and lay naked in bed waiting for me!

You're going to get first prize in the porn^Wexercises category. But it sounds like you want to follow up with some BDSM.

... but I like [slashdot.org] sci-fi :-)

My turn

[ellem]

He is built like a spacecraft and not one of those svelt ones from the 50's all long and thin. He was like a jumble of angles like a toe biting parasite on the cheap tawdry sheets of a No Tell Motel. He lives like a refugee fleeing a roving volcano. Everywhere and no where all at once. He is mist.

The boiler room is across from the generator room which puts him in a real jam since the first bag lady he killed is in the boiler room. The photograph of Batgirl reminds him of Jake LaMotta the boxer the Ragi

Re:My turn

[bethanie]

That's good! Nice storytelling, ellem. The words fit into your context a lot better than they do into mine. :-)

....Bethanie....

Yeah

[Shadow Wrought]

I like how you took such a different take with the words, mixing them in as similes, metaphors, and the like;-)

OMG!

[TheConfusedOne]

If you just added the word "meshed" then you could ghost write for Barbara Boxer. [Background: http://www.nationalreview.com/miller/miller2005111 60834.asp%5D [nationalreview.com]

Send her a sample I'm sure there'll be a sequel.