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And a really huge thanks to Prof. Papier, the Chief Justice, who will retire soon. Thank you, man. That guy has been one of the few people in our republic who constantly held up civil liberties.
is it even malware? What would it be doing?
The real risk does not come from pop-up ads, a changed browser or porn links on a desktop. Nor does it come from formatting harddisks or constantly rebooting. The dangerous thing would be rootkits that hide, remain unseen, log your keystrokes, log your internet traffic etc. and send them to a business rival. They could be buried deep in network traffic, for instance in DNS requests. In contrast to the usual "open some ad windows on the users screen" malware, in this case remaining unseen is crucial.
While I believe that your argument is valid in some other, not traffic-related cases (e.g. I believe that teaching young people how to drink responsibly is better than deterring them from drinking, but that is a different thing), I believe it is not valid in this case. When driving, have one hand at the steering wheel and occasionally one at the gearshift. That's it.