Bingo. No matter WHAT you do, you have almost zero chance of success.
Any programmer who, in this day and age, writes code as you describe, is DOING IT ON PURPOSE to extend their "worth" to the company, by being obtuse.
I feel your pain, but unless you are really close friends with this person, or can BECOME very close friends, I think you're SOL.
So actually, now that I just thought of it, you could become close friends with the dinosaur, and THEN, perhaps, guide him/her?
Good luck my friend...