Journal Interrobang's Journal: TMI/TUI: Random Snippets from the Interrofiles 7
Anyone who's been reading my journal for a while knows that I'm a fount of Totally Useless Information, much of it strange. I also, you may have noticed, have a rather quirky sense of humour. Props to Leven Valera for posting the most unusual response to my being Wobbly to date. Well, thank ya, Leven, because I'm with the Wobblies on that one: You ain't been doin' nothin' if you ain't been called a Red...although I must admit that being called a "good little Maoist" was a creative and amusing twist on the usual same-old-same-old. As I keep saying (for posterity or otherwise), I'm not a follower of St. Karl of Trier, I just play one on tv.
Well, now that the tiresome preamble is out of the way, allow me to introduce more of the same. (Come on, you liked Frahm and Radebaugh and "The Horror of Blimps," admit it!)
Note: Some of these "random snippets" are funny, some are not. Use appropriate discretion.
Random Curse Word Generator
Down And Out In The Magic Kingdom
An argument for being nice to people in annoying situations
Jack Valenti proves he's on crack
Bush's Messiah Complex -- Not a Handel-related theme park
The Westray Mine Disaster Index, a list of information on one of Canada's worst mining disasters. The transcripts of the Inquiry make fascinating reading.
The Material Safety Data Sheet Fun Page: Who knew occupational safety could be this funny?
Early UNIX History and Evolution
The Almighty Jargon File, Dunh dunh DUNH!
In The Beginning Was The Command Line
Bob Bemer's Computer History Vignettes from the "Grandfather of COBOL," "Inventor of ESC," and so on.
Dictionary.com
A Tech Writer's Guide to Open Source Software
The Baen Free Library
The Vatican Library Exhibit Online
Scans of the Voynich Manuscript
Learn the Alef-Bet with Akhlah.com
What A Difference Four Years Makes
The Chickenhawk Database from the NH Gazette
Students for an Orwellian Society
How To Protect Yourself From Atomic Bombing
Googlefight!
Radial Pong
Utilikilts, cargos for the Scottish set (and anyone else!)
Christian Debate Techniques, 101: Apologies in advance to any religious Christians out there, but this article is my high school at the time I went there, which is why this link made me laugh so hard I almost peed myself.
Caring For Your Introvert
Molly Ivins dismembers French-bashers
Science Fiction Citations
Interfaith Calendar Converter, in case you ever need to know what day it is... ;)
Sedaris: You Can't Kill The Rooster No, I don't know either. Just read it.
Japanese Slang
Google Poetry
Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family has its own bilinear influence function. *cough* Thank you Fyodor and the Chron.
Rolling Back the 20th Century -- ooh, yeah! Expect a longer take-out on this from me when I'm not in quite so much of a risible mood.
The POTUS' Blog
From The Fortune File
There will be students with disabilities whose lives will be worse because you have a bit more to spend at the mall this weekend. If you're a Tory voter who denies this fact, you were probably the kid who claimed way too often that your dog ate your homework.
--Heather-Jane Robertson
Clinton was the policy-wonk-in-chief.
--John DiIulio in Esquire
Meanwhile, the protestors outside began to blast music about how we were about to kill our own children. This was meant apparently to convince us that if we would go and join them right then and there, then all would be fine. Money would magically appear, boyfriends would magically love unwanted babies, good jobs and an education would magically crop up, parents would magically become excited and helpful - and, most importantly - you would magically want your own body and life forever altered against your own will.
--Jamie, at naral.org
You don't have to turn out your light when you want to read, because somebody else wants to sleep. You don't have to have the light on when you want to sleep, because somebody else wants to read. You don't have to get up in the night to fix somebody else's hot-water bottle, or lie awake listening to snores, or be vivacious when you're tired, or cheerful when you're blue, or sympathetic when you're bored. You probably have your bathroom all to yourself, too, which is unquestionably one of Life's Great Blessings. You don't have to wait till someone finishes shaving, when you are all set for a cold-cream session. You have no one complaining about your pet bottles, no one to drop wet towels on the floor, no one occupying the bathtub when you have just time to take a shower. From dusk until dawn, you can do exactly as you please, which, after all, is a pretty good allotment in this world where a lot of conforming is expected of everyone.
--Marjorie Hillis, "Live Alone And Like It," 1936
"With fame often comes unwanted attention," Kozinski wrote for a three-judge appeals panel. He closed his written opinion with a warning to both companies to play nice. "The parties are advised to chill," he wrote.
--Judge Alex Kozinsky, Mattel Inc. v. MCA Records Inc., 01-633. [Any judge who writes "The parties are advised to chill," obviously has a sense of humour hidden somewhere under those robes, don't you think? --Ed.]
Never have both notes of Cohen's vocal range been used to more evocative effect.
--Don Atapattu, about Leonard Cohen's "The Future"
This time last year in the State of the Union speech Bush spoke about unemployment among youth. He stood behind a podium, no doubt with that mocking grin creeping along the edges of his lips, and advised thousands of soon-to-be-college graduates to volunteer and wait out the hardships of a deteriorating economy. Put all those years of university back into the community. Does he think that money grows on trees? Will volunteer work pay off student loans and rent and the electricity and phone bills? And what about youth who didn't go to college? Yet another example of how out of touch the Bush Administration is with the needs of working people today. Maybe the lucky few whose fathers give them steady connections to the upper echelons of society can volunteer to their hearts' content, but as for the rest of us, we'll be sending out our resumes.
--Kathryn O'Connor, WireTap
"Detergent isn't that exciting."
--Jello Biafra, quoting his dad
The manuscript tends to support the viewpoint of St. Karl of Trier, who in the nineteenth century declared that the real original sin was the "primitive accumulation of capital."
--Gary Leupp (Astute readers may notice that this quote is the source of one of my new slogans!)
chown -R us your/*base*
--JaredOfEuropa's sig
"I got sent nasty pictures on teh Interweb!"
--vsync64
The people who work here are geeks.
--Robert Fugate, director of the Starfire optical range facility which took the shuttle photo using a commercially-available telescope and an 11-year-old Mac.
The grim fact, however, is that we prepare for war like precocious giants and for peace like retarded pygmies.
--Lester B. Pearson, the only individual Canadian (so far) to win the Nobel Peace Prize
"When the community is in trouble, a person should not say, "I will go to my house and I will eat and drink and be at peace with myself."
- Babylonian Talmud, Ta'anit 11a -
'Open source' software is any program whose code is publicly available, so that ordinary people may fail to understand it, not just computer experts.
--Ben Tripp
The irony of modern conservatives and economic libertarians is that they want to take the economic system that defeated communism and replace it with the one that spawned it.
-- JHB, DemocraticUnderground
What's the difference between capitalism and communism? Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism, it's the other way around.
I was ferreted out of the country and have kissed and licked every day's peace ever since.
--Pierre Tristam
[C]onstant turning to religion is a dangerous addictive avoidance of responsibility and awareness.
--Rustin H. Wright, March 28, 2003
The chances of Iraq invading our shores is extremely slim, partially because there are a dozen nations, an ocean, and 6,000 miles between Baghdad and Hackensack, NY; and partially because all the Iraqis will soon be either dead or too hungry to travel more than a few hundred feet before they swoon.
--Ben Tripp does geography
In all our departmental meetings the "fuckstick" in the Whitehouse is referred to as the anal tampon.
--Anton_Phibes, DU
Bush is now trying to find common ground between Turks and Kurds. Since he's a turd, he may just be the perfect man for the job!
--Barry Crimmins, CrimQuips
program, n.: A magic spell cast over a computer allowing it to turn one's input into error messages. tr.v. To engage in a pastime similar to banging one's head against a wall, but with fewer opportunities for reward.
--Herdthinners.com's fortune file
"He's nuts! He's driving me crazy! He's driving my crack! Cracking my nuts! He's cracking crazy!"
--AlienGirl's son on DU
There you have it, folks. :)
Well, now that the tiresome preamble is out of the way, allow me to introduce more of the same. (Come on, you liked Frahm and Radebaugh and "The Horror of Blimps," admit it!)
Note: Some of these "random snippets" are funny, some are not. Use appropriate discretion.
Random Curse Word Generator
Down And Out In The Magic Kingdom
An argument for being nice to people in annoying situations
Jack Valenti proves he's on crack
Bush's Messiah Complex -- Not a Handel-related theme park
The Westray Mine Disaster Index, a list of information on one of Canada's worst mining disasters. The transcripts of the Inquiry make fascinating reading.
The Material Safety Data Sheet Fun Page: Who knew occupational safety could be this funny?
Early UNIX History and Evolution
The Almighty Jargon File, Dunh dunh DUNH!
In The Beginning Was The Command Line
Bob Bemer's Computer History Vignettes from the "Grandfather of COBOL," "Inventor of ESC," and so on.
Dictionary.com
A Tech Writer's Guide to Open Source Software
The Baen Free Library
The Vatican Library Exhibit Online
Scans of the Voynich Manuscript
Learn the Alef-Bet with Akhlah.com
What A Difference Four Years Makes
The Chickenhawk Database from the NH Gazette
Students for an Orwellian Society
How To Protect Yourself From Atomic Bombing
Googlefight!
Radial Pong
Utilikilts, cargos for the Scottish set (and anyone else!)
Christian Debate Techniques, 101: Apologies in advance to any religious Christians out there, but this article is my high school at the time I went there, which is why this link made me laugh so hard I almost peed myself.
Caring For Your Introvert
Molly Ivins dismembers French-bashers
Science Fiction Citations
Interfaith Calendar Converter, in case you ever need to know what day it is...
Sedaris: You Can't Kill The Rooster No, I don't know either. Just read it.
Japanese Slang
Google Poetry
Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family has its own bilinear influence function. *cough* Thank you Fyodor and the Chron.
Rolling Back the 20th Century -- ooh, yeah! Expect a longer take-out on this from me when I'm not in quite so much of a risible mood.
The POTUS' Blog
From The Fortune File
There will be students with disabilities whose lives will be worse because you have a bit more to spend at the mall this weekend. If you're a Tory voter who denies this fact, you were probably the kid who claimed way too often that your dog ate your homework.
--Heather-Jane Robertson
Clinton was the policy-wonk-in-chief.
--John DiIulio in Esquire
Meanwhile, the protestors outside began to blast music about how we were about to kill our own children. This was meant apparently to convince us that if we would go and join them right then and there, then all would be fine. Money would magically appear, boyfriends would magically love unwanted babies, good jobs and an education would magically crop up, parents would magically become excited and helpful - and, most importantly - you would magically want your own body and life forever altered against your own will.
--Jamie, at naral.org
You don't have to turn out your light when you want to read, because somebody else wants to sleep. You don't have to have the light on when you want to sleep, because somebody else wants to read. You don't have to get up in the night to fix somebody else's hot-water bottle, or lie awake listening to snores, or be vivacious when you're tired, or cheerful when you're blue, or sympathetic when you're bored. You probably have your bathroom all to yourself, too, which is unquestionably one of Life's Great Blessings. You don't have to wait till someone finishes shaving, when you are all set for a cold-cream session. You have no one complaining about your pet bottles, no one to drop wet towels on the floor, no one occupying the bathtub when you have just time to take a shower. From dusk until dawn, you can do exactly as you please, which, after all, is a pretty good allotment in this world where a lot of conforming is expected of everyone.
--Marjorie Hillis, "Live Alone And Like It," 1936
"With fame often comes unwanted attention," Kozinski wrote for a three-judge appeals panel. He closed his written opinion with a warning to both companies to play nice. "The parties are advised to chill," he wrote.
--Judge Alex Kozinsky, Mattel Inc. v. MCA Records Inc., 01-633. [Any judge who writes "The parties are advised to chill," obviously has a sense of humour hidden somewhere under those robes, don't you think? --Ed.]
Never have both notes of Cohen's vocal range been used to more evocative effect.
--Don Atapattu, about Leonard Cohen's "The Future"
This time last year in the State of the Union speech Bush spoke about unemployment among youth. He stood behind a podium, no doubt with that mocking grin creeping along the edges of his lips, and advised thousands of soon-to-be-college graduates to volunteer and wait out the hardships of a deteriorating economy. Put all those years of university back into the community. Does he think that money grows on trees? Will volunteer work pay off student loans and rent and the electricity and phone bills? And what about youth who didn't go to college? Yet another example of how out of touch the Bush Administration is with the needs of working people today. Maybe the lucky few whose fathers give them steady connections to the upper echelons of society can volunteer to their hearts' content, but as for the rest of us, we'll be sending out our resumes.
--Kathryn O'Connor, WireTap
"Detergent isn't that exciting."
--Jello Biafra, quoting his dad
The manuscript tends to support the viewpoint of St. Karl of Trier, who in the nineteenth century declared that the real original sin was the "primitive accumulation of capital."
--Gary Leupp (Astute readers may notice that this quote is the source of one of my new slogans!)
chown -R us your/*base*
--JaredOfEuropa's sig
"I got sent nasty pictures on teh Interweb!"
--vsync64
The people who work here are geeks.
--Robert Fugate, director of the Starfire optical range facility which took the shuttle photo using a commercially-available telescope and an 11-year-old Mac.
The grim fact, however, is that we prepare for war like precocious giants and for peace like retarded pygmies.
--Lester B. Pearson, the only individual Canadian (so far) to win the Nobel Peace Prize
"When the community is in trouble, a person should not say, "I will go to my house and I will eat and drink and be at peace with myself."
- Babylonian Talmud, Ta'anit 11a -
'Open source' software is any program whose code is publicly available, so that ordinary people may fail to understand it, not just computer experts.
--Ben Tripp
The irony of modern conservatives and economic libertarians is that they want to take the economic system that defeated communism and replace it with the one that spawned it.
-- JHB, DemocraticUnderground
What's the difference between capitalism and communism? Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism, it's the other way around.
I was ferreted out of the country and have kissed and licked every day's peace ever since.
--Pierre Tristam
[C]onstant turning to religion is a dangerous addictive avoidance of responsibility and awareness.
--Rustin H. Wright, March 28, 2003
The chances of Iraq invading our shores is extremely slim, partially because there are a dozen nations, an ocean, and 6,000 miles between Baghdad and Hackensack, NY; and partially because all the Iraqis will soon be either dead or too hungry to travel more than a few hundred feet before they swoon.
--Ben Tripp does geography
In all our departmental meetings the "fuckstick" in the Whitehouse is referred to as the anal tampon.
--Anton_Phibes, DU
Bush is now trying to find common ground between Turks and Kurds. Since he's a turd, he may just be the perfect man for the job!
--Barry Crimmins, CrimQuips
program, n.: A magic spell cast over a computer allowing it to turn one's input into error messages. tr.v. To engage in a pastime similar to banging one's head against a wall, but with fewer opportunities for reward.
--Herdthinners.com's fortune file
"He's nuts! He's driving me crazy! He's driving my crack! Cracking my nuts! He's cracking crazy!"
--AlienGirl's son on DU
There you have it, folks.
ohmigoodgollygosh! Its ram-jam inside the place! (Score:2)
That Bemer journal was some top notch bid-nezz.
I wish I could have been there to see JOhn "I would be nothing without Von Neumann!" Mauchly's face when the boys from blechly finally let the cat out of the bag.
What MIGHT have been even funnier was when "Colossus: The Forbin Project" about a computer named colossus... I'm sure some paranoid British dudes were left guessing. Or maybe not...
What are you smoking, Mekkab? (Score:2)
Re:What are you smoking, Mekkab? (Score:2)
and my wife digs the penguin reds.
Another caffeinic, eh? (Score:2)
I think about the only reason I'm not one of ThinkGeek's biggest customers is that I don't have a credit card.
Re:Another caffeinic, eh? (Score:2)
Not even one of those ATM cards with a Visa or MasterCard logo?
You can use those to shop for stuff online.
Nope. (Score:2)
I guess I'll have to forgo the Curiously Caffeinated Peppermints and stick to Coke for now.
Re:Nope. (Score:2)
Amazing. Must be one of those quirky Canada/US differences. Most banks here won't even issue an ATM card that isn't also a Visa or MasterCard debit card. Even though some businesses like car rentals claim they won't take debit cards I've never had a problem.