You're right, the new Russian state is authoritarian rather than totalitarian.
Which is to say, it's still shit, it just stinks a little bit less.
I mean, yes, it would probably hurt if it meant anything compared to the simple, plain and stupid fact that the woman I love does not love me... I would not mind living in the pitiest stinking shithole if she did not throw me away. I'm just beyond hurt at this point. That's why I don't feel anything. It's not a problem with your wording or anything.